For Coffee's sake......

Its a 99!

2012-02-25T12:26:00.002Z

Willie John McBride captain of the British Lions rugby team, was famously tarnished with the '99' call. No this was not a whippy icecream with a flake in it!   This was a call for everyone to defend themselves and punch the nearest Springbok, during the infamous British Lions rugby tour in the 70's. There had been a great deal of needle and unseen things happening during the lead up games to the tests, and McBride alledgedly states we will not take a step back.

Today is Saturday and for me rugby day, hence I guess the connnextion. But more than that it sits with my thinking from yesterday. That as a Christian at war I need to be bold and take the step of faith no matter what I am faced by. Rather than turning and running when I am 'spiritually punched by the enemy' i need to stand and even advance in the power and name of Jesus.   No weapon formed against me shall prosper!

Now Im not suggesting we should all get involved in mass punch ups for Jesus, but we certainly should not just lay back and accept what he throws at us!

As it is rugby day today, I thought i would acknowledge and say thank you to a person who with his dry yorkshire whit encouraged me when i set out on the refereeing career that has brought me 15 years of great joy and challenge and which strangely has also had a profound impact upon my Christians life and ministry. This is strange as he and the sport are far from Christian at times. For many reasons I cannot name this person today on here, although he knows by the letter i have written to him how I appreciate his input into my life.

He once watched me referee and described me as looking like 'a sack of potatoes'.    He told me to get in shape and I could rise to the top! It hurt what he said. It felt like he attacked me right at the core of who I was. How dare he say I was fat, because thats what he meant. How dare he say if i continued the way i was I would never realise my potential!! How dare he! And yet in this massive personal challenge issued to me, he gave it in the knowledge that he knew me well enough, and knew how I would respond.

On the back of this i went away listened to what he had said put it in place and by the end of the very next season I was accepted onto the national list or referees in England, the RFU's top 50 referees.

I appreciated, not at the time, the hard work of my mentor and coach. In this I learnt so much about the importance of bringing 'honest challenge' to those who we are seeking to grow in the faith and influence. It is not enough to ignore behaviours, and weaknesses. We have through the love of Jesus to challenge what needs to be better so that we might truly honour God.

Today I say thank you for the rugby referee coach who told me what i didnt like to hear. It eventually was understood and benefitted me enormously. Lets make sure we offer the right challenge to people, so it in turn benefits and grows the Kingdom

Millions, fighting with me....

2012-02-24T09:42:00.002Z

The Army is downsizing, how can we continue to fight so many wars around the world, so the politician on the radio programme was discussing this morning. I thought to myself, having got on the road extremely early, well that's not true in Gods Army. I'm one in many millions!! The bible says 'Since you are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses'.

This morning having had 3 hours on the road already, I have been thinking about those people, I have already said thank you to for influencing my life. Today I cannot help but recognise and celebrate the many men and women of faith who have fought the fight well, and not only made it easier for me to live by and be a Christian, but also to recognise that Im never alone.

Now I know God said He will never leave us, but it helps me dare I say even more to know that there are actually millions of Christians engaged in this battle as well as myself. We cannot lose this battle, millions of fighters at war for Jesus and with Jesus.

The war is won through grace and love. People living a different life or war. This is indeed a war of love. Gods love for broken humanity shown to mankind through the actions of grace, and actions of love in you and me.

Dare I say the couple that I want to acknowledge today have probably demonstrated the life of grace and love the most to me. I really do hope, that I am held in half as much respect as I and many others hold this dear couple in.

Win and Tom Ursito are both over 90. They came into my life 20 years ago when in their late 60's. They have been the embodiment of the life of holiness. An example of faith rarely seen, in my opinion, in Gods believers. They have shown me how to love people, even when they have hurt you. Their gentle encouragement, and that does not mean they are weak, continually has been an inspiration. They drop notes, phones calls, messages of encouragement to people all the time. I know they have prayed for my life every day without fail. I know that! What an amazing gift to a minister, to know that those who the world might say are on the scrap heap of life due to their age have made a tireless commitment to pray for you! Awesome.

And you know what, all over this world their are witnesses doing likewise for believers, for you today! No wonder I feel so bold in my faith, because there are many Wins and Toms living the life of grace and love and praying for Gods Kingdom on earth.

Today friends, I do indeed thank God for the witnesses of faith who have gone before and who walk with us today, such as Win and Tom. But what an awesome fact, we are fighting a fight not with a diminishing fighting force but with a thriving Army of Warriors!

Im a Christian.....dont apologise!

2012-02-23T13:10:00.002Z

Crazy, even bizarre start to the day. I was in 'church', well Costa Wetherby. This the place where I meet people and share my faith through conversation over coffee. I'm so glad this year I've not given up coffee like last year!

Anyway the craziest thing happened, which linked directly to Gary Laceys message to our church the Sunday just gone. I was chatting to the 3 Costa ladies who were serving me my flat white. Somehow we started talking about how as a Christian I believe that God is deeply invested in our everyday lives. (not the sort of conversation that comes up very often!)

I was asked so what do you think is going on in her life? I replied by saying that i would suggest that the person is very different to what people think. I then described what was laid on my heart about her. The response cam back, how did you know that? She then said well what about her, and this happened 3x. Each explanation was apparently bang on. Are you some kind of clairvoyant they asked? (remembering Sunday message to be bold and stand up for Jesus) I said NO! I explained how God can give us special insights into peoples lives so He can show His commitment and love for them.

This to the most amazing 5 minute chat about Jesus in the middle of Costa. In walked a sister of one of the staff and said so what about her? I looked at her face and shared that I believed she had been deeply hurt and was feeling totally broken, at which point tears began to well up in her eyes. I put my arm round her and said Jesus understands and loves you with a passion. It was a God anointed and blessed moment.

Now having studied evangelism and been committed to mission for some years, I have been told continually that we have to be aware of the culture and surroundings. We need to be guarded about when we mention Jesus. But you know what, we also need to be sensitive to Gods Holy Spirit, who sometimes just turns up, in the midst of Costa and requires us to be bold and declare the reality of Jesus. Today was one such day.

Today my letter is written posthumously. It is written to my grandad, Bob. He was never embarrassed to talk or sing about his Jesus. If he felt it laid on his heart wherever he was he would share his faith. Jesus was so important to him that he did not want to apologise, or be embarrassed about Jesus. He taught me so much about having a passion for Jesus and about being bold in declaring this passion.

Thanks grandad, you taught me to drive in your allegro with the square steering wheel, you said Andrea was a good catch, and you even more importantly showed me how to be bold for Jesus. Thank you.

Children come first?

2012-02-22T14:23:00.002Z

Day 1 Lent 2012

Over these next days and weeks, its my intention to say thank you to men and women who have influenced my life. Many probably wont even realise that they have or even how much.

I am reminded of teachers at school who invested in me, even when I did not want to be invested in! Sunday school leaders, ministers, family, friends and even rugby colleagues. Its amazing just how much effect people have had upon me, when I take time out to reflect and remember.

I want this year, through 40+acts of generosity to write to these people a letter of sincere thanks and appreciation. Its right to say thank you. Its right to acknowledge that I am who am I in no small part down to such people.

We do not recognise enough, just how much people influence us, do we? You will not know Ruth Woodhouse but today I want to thank God, for a lady who throughout my formative years always took time for me. It seemed that even though she had a heart and passion for young people, and even though she had many many children under her care, she always had time for me.

She seemed to always have a smile on her face, even though we as young people were always miss behaving, or so it seemed. She week in week out sought to show and tell us about the stories of Jesus. teach a child before they are 7 we are told and you shape them for life. Ruth, my Sunday school leader, seemed to love to tell young people about Jesus, and his stories. She had a passion and a love for Him, and because of this had a love for all of the youngsters under her care. I felt especially me!!

I know that throughout the next years she continued to pray and enquire of me.
She was a model to me of the importance in christian ministry of taking the words of Jesus and applying them to her life, Jesus said suffer the children to come unto me and forbid them not for as such is the kingdom of God! I believe this ladies influence, not only shaped my life and calling but has also had a key part in what I believe the ministry of the church needs to be. That is, Jesus had a special place for young people, therefore so should we!

Ruth gave and gave and gave to me as a young person. She showed love and grace in her actions. Today I give thanks to God, that I am who I am in no small part because of her influence. I thank my God for her life and influence over me! Thank you Ruth Woodhouse.

40 Days Here I go again.....

2012-02-17T09:15:00.002Z

I have been thinking lots about this years lent, and what I should be doing to benefit my spirit and to particuarly refocus my thinking on the Lord, whom I seek to try and follow. (If only I was more successful in my living in this regard!)

I had a couple of ideas. 1, was to give up my mobile phone. There never seems to be any space. People seem to always want instant responses, and this brings with it massive emotional demands and strains. 2. Was not to respond to emails outside of sensible working hours. This in itself does not model good leadership and work balance to the rest of my team and church. However neither of these felt right.

Last week I became aware of the 40 acts of grace intiative. The idea being that I do something positive with the period of lent, rather than give something up.

As a church we have been speaking this year about living distinctively, living life differently. Showing people through our living and actions that life can be different and the we must as Christians model the reality of Jesus in everything we do.

So this year I am going to write a letter of encourage to 40+ different people who have had an influence upon my life. I will pray each day and then write to the person laid on my heart. In my spirit I feel that these may not just be relationships which have been positive but may have also brought challenge to me.

I am hoping that God will use this experience to build up the people who he lays on my heart. I am hoping that maybe he might resolve some issues that he needs addressing, and I am really praying that people will be surpised as they receive the encouargement and honest words about how people have encouraged me in my journey and sometimes wrestle with faith. I am intending where it is appropriate to try and blog these insights and encouragements to, so that people can hear and read that it is vital to say thank you to each other, even when in the first place you might not like what was said or you had to do.

So as i prepare to embark on a season of encouragement, I join with Paul in his letters to the Ephesians 'I thank my God everyday when I remember you in my prayers.'

Prophetic Imagination

2011-09-22T08:05:00.000+01:00

It amazes me continously that as a Christian leader how often I underestimate my ability to understand what is on Gods heart, even though time and time again he has graciously spoken to and through me.

Why am i not more confident in proclaiming what I believe is Gods heart? The reality is of course he desires and delights to talk to his children about what is on his heart!

Ive just completed two bible studies for the Salvation Army based upon the Ezekiel 37 vision of dry bones.

Now this scripture is something which God has been talking loads to me about over the last couple of years. But basically it comes down for me to two things; 1. Do i believe that God is able to resurrect the dead, physically and spiritually? 2. Do i seek and desire the breathe of Gods Holy Spiit enough to make these things happen?

Having penned what i believed God was wanting me to say, I have then come away to a couple of days with a load of pioneer church leaders from across many denominations, and what do I hear when I get here? Prophetic imagination. In a simplisitic interpretation people need to dream with and in the presence of God and then be big enough to act and speak upon what they had heard.

We need to allow God the Holy Spirit to show us His heart from this nation and His will for how we need to go about addressing it. We need to swing wide the gates of heaven over this nation through the new things which he desires to do. (thats not to say either than he cant reinvigerate the old as well!)

I have had Isaiah 43 laid on my heart for several weeks, and indeed preached on it on Sunday, forget the past......see the new things i am doing.

So I want to encourage you as you read this today. Are you dreaming with God? Are you seeking out His heart and intention? Are you prepared to let the Holy Spirit breathe in new life? All questions that he keeps stirring in my heart.

I am a dreamer! I am a prophetic leader! Thats not me boasting thats who God has made me to be! My imagination is running wild. My heart is pounding! We stand on the edge of I believe a new demonstration of the power and might and love of God. We have seen glimpses in recent days. Lord I believe that there is even greater and mightier things to come when your people dream what seems the impossible to a God who makes them possible!facebook

Diet or Feast?

2011-07-26T07:22:00.006+01:00

Its amazing how little you can survive on!

In recent weeks, the last four in fact, I have been in 'pre season mode'! For those who know me well and have been around me over many summers, they know this means hard dieting and fitness push ready for the impending fitness test! This year apparently I now not only need to do the bleep test but also the yoyo test! Do the rfu referees unit not realise this gets harder and harder each year and some of us are not really made for dynamic speed and fitness??? We are the communicators and managers !

Anyway into my head has come this thought over the last week or so......Ive decided only to blog occasionally at present as I am not wanting it to just become routine. But I ws woken early this morning and have had a recurring theme ove the last few weeks. That is God is An Awesome provider!

By trying to eat three small meals a day I am realising that in fact i do not need to eat very much to survive through the day. I loathe breakfast but endeavour to force some fruit in a sandwich for lunch and small dinner in the evening, more than enough. In fact I am finding I do not even really want my eve meal at present? I must confess however I still want my sweets and cakes but this is getting less and less, well most days.

Mind you this has focused my mind on the terrible famine affecting so many people across Africa in these last days. It is terrible that we have so much and can chose when to eat, they would just like to be able to eat!

In recent days we have been going through one of those amazing times of blessing at church. God has been providing so much, answering so many amazing prayers, and it has just been so good to be in the center of some amazing demonstrations of Gods love and power. For the last few weeks there has been one thing after another. I have even started turning to my team and saying look yet another blessing from God, isn't this awesome! That simply just had to be God!

God says he will do immeasurably more than we can imagine, so why am I surprised?

God just loves to lavish upon his children good things so that others may see his power and glory.

As a Christian do I live on meagre rations rather than upon the providential blessings of God. I can survive on little, just like the diet, or I can recognise that God is a God of lavish provision! Why famine when God has plenty?

Thanks be to God at present we are indeed seeing His bountiful provision, and yet He still has even more.....all we have to do is live in His will and see His plan and purpose revealed in front of us. Dieting is alright for a while, but i need to be honest I love to feast!

Travelling light

2011-06-25T14:39:00.007+01:00

Not blogged for a couple of weeks, didnt want it just to become habit on the back my fasting etc, but I just had to write about this.

An adult linked to our chuch family, who is in the worlds eyes, a 'bit slow', needed to have his new shed erected at the communal house where he lives with two other 'handicapped' adults. Could I help? Well why wouldnt I?

Thing is have you ever offered to help someone thinking that shouldnt take long only for the 'ask' to grow and grow having agreed to do so?

Well I arrived. The old shed needed dismantling, but it first needed to be cleared of all the rubbish that was contained within. Having cleared out, what can best be described as rubbish we eventually began to dismantle the old shed. Never again, I thought as what had seemed an easy task became more and more of a challenge! The sweat was dripping of my head! Why or why had someone put nails in every conceivable piece of word! It took the three of us ages, or so it seemed. Eventually we got it down and put the new one up! I did smile to myself as I suspect the old was actually stronger than the new one!

God has been really speaking in the last couple of weeks, about taking with me on the journey of faith only the bare essentials that I need to follow. Getting rid of the stuff that gets in the way, and yet at the same time we have been blessed in amazing ways and seeing God do miracle upon miracle, just as we believed He said He would.

We have seen people healed, people have direct prayer requests answered. God has unlocked new doors in regard to mission as well as provide more and more human resources for delivering the mission that we are called to within the wider community. Day after day as I have been sending out prayer requests I am having to send out nearly as many answers to prayer.

Its fascinating that when we do lay ourselves bare before God and trust in His provision He continually comes through, time and time again. Praise Him.

But I need to share that I am also amazed by things which I have stored away thinking I may need them again. I think that too many of us are like that old shed, we have hidden and stored away things, thinking that may come in useful again some day. The reality is that we may not have ever need them again?

As i ask this of the individual Christian I think on a larger scale we need to ask the same of our Christian traditions, and churches. Have we built up and created stuff that we think is important but has no heavenly use on earth?

As i said in my last blog I have been following someone on Twitter who is working through openly alot of angst about the SA. I have to say I cant agree with too much of what he is saying but it is causing me to ask, what is important and necessary to carry in the Christian walk of faith? If anything gets in the way of Jesus and me walking closely then we should surely get rid of it? Sin, materiality, false beliefs, religions and religious observance are but just some that need to go....

I believe God is calling a new generation to be in love with Him, to follow what He asks, no matter where that might be and to travel lightly. As I think this though the dynamic growth of the Kingdom, and the exponential growth of the SA were down to this fact. People travelled with the bare minimum, so that they could more quickly respond to the needs.

Time for a clear out.......I need to travel more lightly

Yesterday or Tomorrow?

2011-06-13T07:24:00.003+01:00

So clearly God is speaking!

Having posted yesterday about loyal radicals and then spoken about it last evening, it now turns out that twitter is being bombarded by a guy called @skeletonarmy who is expessing his views of what he thinks the SA is all about.

Its interesting that, whilst he is clearly hurting, he is expressing views that at least we should be listening to. Whats more these thoughts have been picked up by facebook and many other Christians are now expressing a real tension between what they think is needed, what they think God is doing, and what our future holds if all of the above are not addressed.

I find it fascinating that only yesterday I was saying that maybe I have been configured differently because i see what is coming rather than what has been. Then the very next day, in fact the same day people are expresisng similar views?

Last night we started some work with Tadcaster on the non negotiables are what is SA. This has been something I have thrashed about with in the past but on the back of these two pieces of work, Loyal Radicals and Non negotiables of Salvationism I am moved to write a paper and do some study looking at this further.

The question that is instantly rising up in me is;

Is God raising up a new prophetic generation, who have the DNA, but have to do things differently?

Im am being led back to Ezekiel again and the valley of dry bones and the book that Floyd McClung wrote you see bones but I see am army.

Are we on for a collision course? Can these bones (the SA organisation) really come back to life? Or is possible that its time for a new thing? In all of these points I think we need to be asking the Micah 6 word, what is it God that you require of me.........

Loyal Radicals

2011-06-11T18:12:00.005+01:00

Am I just a person who naturally goes against the tide, or this the way God has made me? Has God configured me differently? Or just uniquely?

Just who am i? What makes me what I am? This morning someone said to me that she needed more of the gift of faith, like me. She said you have always encouraged me and amazed me by the way you live by faith! I was so challenged by this because I'm having a bit of spiritual kicking at present and I'm not sure I am this man of faith really?

Its Sunday afternoon and I'm in deep thinking mode! Thinking lots about this morning, about Church, about things which were said, about Pentecost etc.

Also I have just been and bought my latte as I promised myself after 13 weeks of fasting. Drank two mouthfuls and it wasn't as I remember it.....I didnt really enjoy it! Why? It wasn't as I thought it was going to be, it wasn't as i remember it!

Had a bizarre weekend really. Not least because yesterday afternoon I sat listening to brass band music for an hour in my office. It reminded me of past experiences, from places where I have travelled from. It reminded me of previous spiritual experiences that have shaped my life. But they were and now are no more..... What I mean, is I thank God for them, for they have shaped me to be who I am today, but they are not who I am now! This was further emphasised by a meeting I attended earlier in the week, where mission was the conversation but it just seemed as if people could not see it.

I am not the same as I was then, and I am not in the same place as I was then. The worry for me was it was like going back in time, visiting a bygone age, an age which yes I thank God for but I am not convinced I want any part of.

The things of yesterday are not the things of today?! They can help shape our thinking but they are in the past!

Im a loyal radical I have decided (thanks Bob and Mary Hopkins ACPI) for this term. Im loyal to the beliefs and systems of the SA but I need to do and be a different thing for a different context today. I cant be what I once was. I want to stay true to our values, but I have to see how they connect to today, not yesterday.

I have come again to the point that for whatever reason, God has given me a prophetic visionary ministry that see things of the future to help shape today so that we can be in a place to live out this future life and destiny. I want to be a person who is continually looking forward not back over my shoulder.

I sense that the future is secure in Gods hands, I trust Him with it afterall its all about him anyway, I cannot go back to Egypt whatever that means for me. Im looking forward, to the promised land of new experiences and blessings.

Nothing in me longs for the past, not even coffee now that has really surprised me.

Choices

2011-06-10T06:43:00.009+01:00

Colombian

Guatemalan

Ethiopian

Italian

Freeze dried

Instant

Decaffeinated

One shot Espresso

Two shot Espresso

Americano

Latte

Cappuccino

Flat white

Choices, choices, choices..........Which one should I have?

Sometimes to many choices bring about confusion.

Sometimes to many choices cause us to delay decisions

Sometimes to many choices excuse us from taking action.

The reality is I know, despite the choices which one I will take. It will be a Latte, not too strong, no extra shots, a gentle introduction back into the world of coffee loving.
Jesus clearly taught the way is narrow, we enter and follow a set route of beliefs. Follow me! I am thinking, there is no choice really?? Well there is but its an either or. I choose to follow Jesus or I choose to go the other way.
Thomas best embodies this principle when he cannot make up his mind in John 14 Jesus says you know the way....I am the way..... Am I complicating this faith journey thing? When the choice is indeed following or not.
For me its as Joshua was told 'choose this day who you will follow!'.

Wakey wakey

2011-06-09T06:57:00.005+01:00

Ive been woken up unexpectedly!!!!!!!!

This morning, Esther got up for school showered and woke Nathan who did likewise. Nothing unusual there, just another morning in the Vertigan household. Things then changed from the norm. Nathan started expressing his opinion of his sister when he said its only 5 oclock, what on earth are you playing at, or something to that effect! His sister had for some reason thought it was 6am.

To be fair Esther is not a great sleeper, particularly when she is a little on edge or anxious. (exams!)

This week has been a bit of a wake up call for myself though as well. Last weekend was apparently a massive one for the SA in London with hundreds of people gathered. I had no idea! I was at my headquarters on Monday for a three hour meeting discussing strategy. I could not believe how people could not see the answers and solutions to their questions. It was a little like getting into Doctor Who's Tardis and going back in time. The things they were discussing and the challenges these lovely people were facing i honestly thought had passed us by. That's not a criticism but a reality of what our decision makers have to face and deal with. And then bless her one of my youth workers is trying desperately to work out what God wants from her and is looking at every option bar the obvious one. She is a bit like Nathan was at 5 this am, walking all around confused, when like i said to Nathan the answer is obvious. He could have looked at his clock. She just needs listen to God.

Confusion comes about when we allow things to crowd into our thinking.

The disciples were in this state post resurrection, and it was as we have already said this week why Jesus told them to wait on him. When they waited there hearts and minds were stilled and it was in that place that they received power.

There are many times in faith when confusion reigns in our spirit. We lose sight of, or dont know how to work out what is the way forward.

In recent weeks I have had to really seek to be still before God, to wait on him. I am busily planning the next 6 months of the church diary, with potentially 5 member of staff less. Very few children's workers (indeed i have no idea how we can cover our childrens work after the summer). Not sure how we will deliver our schools and youth work either. I am a strategist and visionary, I can normally see the how and what but I am really having to trust Gods leading at this time.

I have sat for the last month each day looking at the plans and I put them back down because it looks like the Times Crossword, beyond my comprehension. But in the midst of this, this week God is reminding me, waking me up, to the fact that He is the author of our faith, He knows what He is doing. I simply have to place myself in the place where I need to wait on Him to reveal His power and majesty.

The next stage of the faith journey is exciting here, its uncharted waters as far as I am concerned but in my heart I have a peace that whilst I need to wake up and smell the coffee that is around me, my God does not need to wake up, for He neither slumbers nor sleeps. God is at work all around us, getting every minute detail in place. And all will be well.........He knows what He is doing.

Transformers are go!

2011-06-07T07:31:00.005+01:00

Nathan when he was younger collected the transformer toys. He literally had everyone possible. He would spend hours twisting the pieces of meta and plastic. He loved turning the toys from one thing into another. It didnt matter how many times he had played with these he continued to love to change them. They would transfix his attention for hours.

As I consider the whole experience those disciples went through in the lead up to the first Pentecost, I recognise that no matter how many times Jesus spoke, ministered or challenged the disicples he continued to sought to transform them from the people they were to the people he wanted them to be.

Now post resurrection they are faced with the ultimate challenge. The whole ministry of Christ is now down to them. The future of Gods eternal plan on earth has been handed over to the 11, sooon to be 12 once more. The mission of God to save the lost, to save the world was in the hands of the same people who literally days earlier had not wanted to even be associated with Christ. It was for this reason that I believe we are given a tremendous hope that we can be transformed, and that through this experience so can out world.

The disciples were about to have their lives turned upside down, and through this experience the world was about to see the radical transforming work of God.

The Holy Spirit enabled the weak and pathetic disciples to become witnesses to the truth. They were given boldness and courage and the reality of this experience is shown to us today, in that the Church worldwide has grown out of this first Pentecost experience that happened to those first few men and women. This was a dynamic tranformation!

We hear and see everyday with our own eyes the world, seemingly in turmoil, seemingly going against what we would say are Christians standards and values. But this does not cause me to despair but rather compels me to make a difference.

I sat in a meeting yesterday discussing an area of town where a number of families had been complained about and who were , as a result, likely in the next days or so to receive court orders about their conduct. It seemed as I knew every family that was being talked about. The complaints were being levelled at the 30 year old dad who goes out and plays football on the streets, the families who houses were filthy and not being looked after, of the parents who were continually partying and getting drunk. One person present said I would never believe this happens in Wetherby!

I found myself having to speak up for these families and trying to use my words to help people see that in fact things were not the way they were being portrayed, that in fact there was a great sense of community and committment being shown to each other in this street. God filled my words as i bore witness to what I believed was really happening in this community.

As we work with people, as we let our lives speak the loud words of faith being lived out, I am convinced that the best way to witness is by living as Christ in the world. By coming alongside such families as the ones above and showing them through actions of love and grace what I believe. Im not sure the first thing I need to do is talk (and thats my natural position) but rather to serve them, show them that they are accepted and loved.

As this community is being transformed by God, and it is, it is not by my words necessarily but rather through the actions of believers.

I am thinking, I am called to bear witness to God, in my life and its more effective when I keep my mouth shut?? Or is it..............................to be continued

Power crazed!

2011-06-06T07:19:00.004+01:00

Afte waiting Jesus said to his disciples 'you shall receive power when the holy spirit comes upon you'

This morning I am reflecting on this power. The power that brings about transformation.

The Holy Spirit is a tranforming power. I have already spoken in recent weeks about this power living in Jesus, it was the power the rose Jesus from the dead and it is the same power that lives in us.

I have had to be praying, seeking God and his plans and desires for this community and church in recent days. We are and will be going through tremendous change, but whilst I dont mind change I wouldnt save i love it. Certainly others seem more wary of change than myself, but I would love to say I embrace it, but I'm not quite at that place yet.

However God is a God of evolution. Now dont panic you evolutionists out there Im not going to unpack heresy here. When God is at work we have to wait on him, trust him and make sure that we are so in tune with what he is doing that things develop before us. This is the powerful work of transformation that God the Holy Spirit undertakes.

I am not what I once was. I have been and am being transformed. I once was like a massive rock being crafted by the sculptor. God the Holy Spirit has seen in me the raw potential and is shaping me. The first bits of this work were easy in a sense cause they were the bigs things, the bigs character flaws, sins. God took in those first days of my faith a big chisel to me, but now God is taking the smaller chisel and is nudging, prodding, poking away at my character and personality to change and refine me. I am experiencing the power of God at work in me, and I am praying that I will experience this same power more.

Thats a dangerous prayer though. But its the right prayer to be praying. I want to become an empowered disciple of Jesus, a man who stands for Jesus not in his own strength but in the supernatural strength of God. (My thinking will be developed to what happens when this power is so obvisouly demonstrated within community.)

I need the power of God in me. I need the power of God transforming my thinking, my actions, my words. I long to see the power of God being worked out through me into this community. I long for it to be said he's not the same as he was......because God has taken the rough rock and transformed it into something beautiful.

I think its fair to say the rock is still under construction, but its being constructed (I pray) under the powerfilled hands of God

Waiting

2011-06-06T07:06:00.005+01:00

Waiting, waiting, waiting, im waiting for the fire, is an old song sung by Christians at the end of a sermon usually when they were crying out to God, pleading with Him to touch peoples lives.

A week left to Pentecost and I cant wait. I am expecting amazing things from God the Holy Spirit! But is this really just about one day.

I made chuch laugh yesterday, as for some reason, I thought Pentecost was this week and yet I knew it was next Sunday. So I made the statement well surely everyday should be a Pentecost. A day when we need and experience the Holy Spirit in a new and fresh way?

Jesus taught about waiting for His moment. The moment when God breaks through in a new way. Pentecost.

Jesus told his disciples, Acts 1:4 'he told them to wait for what the Father has promised, the promise you heard from me. John baptised with water, you will be baptised in the Holy Spirit. And soon!' (the message version)

God promises us His Holy Spirit. Freely available to all who believe, but I also sense, rightly or wrongly that sometimes we need to wait even though we have asked?

Last night at Tadcaster was an amazing night. These are a group of mainly retired people who are going on this amazing spirtual journey, with new people joining and spiritual lights being switched on all over the place. These people have been praying and waiting, praying and waiting and now before their own eyes they are experiencing the new things of God, The power of the Holy Spirit at work within them! Amazing.

The disciples were activists they wanted to get on with things. They had seen their Saviour crucified and now post resurrection were being told to sit still and wait. It would have done my head in! But wait they did and then they experienced the fullness of God in power.

Ive been waiting throughout this lent and post lent period for my coffee. I have not touched any! But now I am feeling like I will be drinking one this Sunday and the wait will be worth it. But more than that I believe we are about to experience a new demonstration of Gods Spirit before our eyes.

And I cant wait..........

The Church Has Talent!

2011-06-04T14:18:00.005+01:00

So tonight is one of those must sit in and watch the TV nights. Apparently? Its the Britains got Talent final!

Now I must admit I have really enjoyed watching this programme this year, and was gutted to miss last evenings showing, although I was enjoying myself doing ministry with Street Angels.

It amazes me the lengths people go to, to get themselves on TV! (dressing up as a pig and just crawling around the stage, or the man popping his eyes out, or someone dressing up as a robot calling himself the terminator!) Britain has indeed got talent!

But what amazes me more is when someone comes on, who clearly is shall we say, not very good at what they do and yet they seem to believe they are good enough to win. Are they deluded or do they really believe in themselves so much? Thet put themselves up in front of the judges to be scrutinised! Fair enough. But I cannot agree with the herd mentality of the crowd, who, when one person starts to boo the rest join in, beying for blood it would seem.

I wish all the contestants tonight well, espcially Razzi the British Romanian.

As I have reflected on this programme and some of the acts I have seen, I cannot help but think about all the gifts God has given to his church. Many are being used by people who are totally committed to Him. I see this at work in the amazing people that surround me in the life and ministry fo this church. And yet at the same time I cannot help but think about all those believers who for whatever reason are not using their skills, gifts and talents for Gods glory. Why is this?

I need to say that I believe everything that we need to proclaim the truth and live it out has been given to us His Church. We are told in scripture therefore that we lack for nothing. I believe in the gifts and power of the Holy Spirit and I have seen and experienced many of these gifts.

It seems that unlike the contestants on BGT so many of Gods followers lack the belief that God has given them unique and amazing abilities and gifts. I sense we have allowed the world and our own weaknesses and struggles to hinder us from boldy taking hold and using all that God has given us.

As I have journeyed through what has almost been 3 months, fasting from coffee as God has asked me, I have continued sense in my spirit something of the spiritual battle that surrounds us. But I am convinced and believing that there is a real sense that God is wanting to pour out Himself once more upon His Church in love and power. The reason for this is so that we can not only sense and experience the power and deeper things of God but also so that people can see within us That Gods Church has massive Ability!

As I look around me at the people I work with and the church I serve i thank God that I am surrounded by such a great group of people, who are seeking through their gifts to reveal something of God to the people they care for and work with.

Gods church is full of massive latent potential which we need to allow the Holy Spirit to explode.

Gods Church Has Real Talent! Will it be fulfilled or kept hidden.......

Hurdles

2011-05-31T07:15:00.003+01:00

Dont you just love bank holiday weekends, shouted my neighbour across to me as he saw the Jewsons lorry arrive with concrete posts, kick boards and fencing panels. He could tell I was in a for a right weekend of rest! Not!

Then to cap it all he smiled and said you know its going to rain! And it did!

For years we have tolerated the bottom of our garden. We live next to the old railway line, which is now used by cyclists and dog walkers. Its a beautiful place. But the massive trees and undergrowth invariably comes though the lattice fence into the garden. We have meant each summer to replace it with a solid and better fence.

On the back of our uninvited visitors to our home the other week, it was decided to do it.

Now actually I rather enjoy practical tasks, i love working outside and you cant beat getting a bit dirty now and again. It went remarkably smoothly the first day and indeed even though it was pouring most of Monday I got over half way. I stood back and even Andrea was impressed, it had tidied up so much.

I decided to do one more post hole. By now I had been working 8 hours solid and my body was aching from lifting the concrete around all on my own (i forgot to say the posts had been dropped of at the top of my drive, 20 meters away from where I wanted them!). I placed the post into the last hole, and it needed to go down just 3 more inches.

As i dug this last little bit I hit this massive piece of wood, I could not budge it or get it out so decided to simply dig alongside the wood till I found the end. 1 hour later and 6ft of trench later i found the end. It was part of an old telegraph pole, it would not budge no matter what I did! Sweat was pouring of my head, my body had no energy left and I just couldnt be bothered!! Why when everything had gone so well did we hit this obstacle at the very end of the day, when i was most tired?

In the end I got over this by cutting of 3 inches of the post! Obvious really.

So often things seem to be going well when we are then met with a massive obstacle that no matter how hard we try, we cannot even remove or deal with. We can try everything we know but still we seem unable to conquer that which is before us.

So often the easy way, the obvious way, eludes us.

Jesus is the answer to all our obstacles, i teach and preach . And yet He is so often the last place that I turn to. But He is the solution and its so simple. We bring to him everything that hinders us and we trust His direction for us. We could prevent oursleves a lot of sweat and tears if only we learned the art of putting Him first in all things.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you!

Worthy

2011-05-27T19:39:00.006+01:00

Praise be to you O lord, God of our Father Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Yours O lord is the greateness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendour, for everything in heaven and earth is yours.

Yours O Lord if the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. Wealth and honour come from you; you are ruler of al things.

In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. Now our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.

Amen.

Darlene Zschech blasting out in worship to her Lord, my Lord in the office as I am trying to prepare my mind and thoughts for Sunday. I was led to the scripture above from 1 Chronciles and found myself spending moments in the presence of The Awesome Almighty God, the Ruler of the heavens and the earth, the Ruler of my life, or so I am trying to make God.

Ive read and reread and prayed and prayed these words through as the music blasted in the background. You know what, we worship and serve such an Almighty God.

He is indeed the God of my everything, everything I face am concerned and joyful about. Everything! There is nothing in my life that God is not totally interested in. Indeed as Im singing and praising God I believe he is doing likewise with me. It feel like heaven is in my office as I am being captivated by the presence of the Risen Lord Jesus.

In these moments I am glimpsing the beauty and the majesty of the King, I am losing myself and again recognising, simply that God is worthy of all. Everything. I am lost in wonder love and praise.

Our God is an awesome God! Bless you Jesus. And if you are reading this just now I wanted to simply remind you of this fact. That Jesus is Lord!

Have you washed?

2011-05-26T07:05:00.004+01:00

You've heard me say it before, but i love knocking and pulling things down, put a skip in the equation and I am one seriously happy bunny!

I arrived with Sarah and Dan to help out a good minster friend who was seeking to renovate this old bungalow in the middle of a housing estate into a church. It was right in the middle of housing on the corner of a street an amazing position. This was going to be a fun day as we sought to help Bob realise his vision for church.

We received our instructions, knock down those three walls, remove the electrics, pull down the ceiling and clear it all away into the skip. Simples.

Other than....... the windows are all new, so be careful, the carpet we want to reuse and the loft space is full of old doors and rubbish! O and did i forget to say you have to go all the way around the house to get to the skip!

We had such a hard but great day, we got all the walls knocked down and most of the ceiling including those old doors and fibre glass. The skip was filled to the top. Bob was happy we were happy. But you had to smile as we looked at each other. We looked like, and its probably not pc to say but we looked like the black and white minstrels from my youth! We were filthy. Not only filthy buy muscles ached that we did not believe we had!

The dust, rubbish and fibre glass were all over us (and yes H&S people we did wear masks and goggles!). Despite this there was dirt everywhere! Just how does it get there??

As we drove home our muscles ached no one talked in the car, one was asleep (guess who) the other was simply out of it. But we had helped a man of faith start to realise his hopes and dream.

Even though we wore all the righte equipment, and even though we put all the obvious rubbish in the skip. So much of the dirt from this day journeyed with us. As i finished my bath the rubbish from the day was clear to see as the water drained away. I stood by the side of the bath astounded at just how much dirt there was.

This image has stayed with me the last few days.

Even though we thought we had covered ourselves up, used the right gear, and left the rubbish behind there was so much that in fact we had carried home with us.

It seems that through these last months I have been getting rid, well tying to get rid of much of the rubbish that sticks to my life. And yet I still carry more than I realised. The closer you seek to get to God, the more of Gods Holy Spirit you submit to the more that continues to be revealed that God needs to clean up.

I am surpised just how much rubbish I carry in my life from time to time.

The bath did its job, it removed from me the rubbish that had somehow got hidden deep within my body.

Have you been to Jesus for the cleansing power there is power in the blood of the lamb. There is a need for me to be cleansed by Jesus from the rubbish. Some days I think im clean when in fact the rubbish is hidden. But all I have to do is allow God to cleanse me and I shall be whiter than snow as the bible says. No matter how dirty, how much rubbish, how often i fail, I thank God that He is a God who delights to clean us up.

In the presence of Giants!

2011-05-23T09:56:00.006+01:00

Ive walked in the presence of Giants!!

I shared the story yesterday at church of the Elephant which I blogged about last week. Alongside this went the text from Ephesians for the church to wake up. This was indeed a God inspired message which from the feedback resonated with many present.

I think it also helped that someone had announced the world was going to end on Saturday night! As an aside I was fascinated by how many people thought it was funny that they had either, missed the rapture, or been left behind. Very few it seemed to be seemed worried of the implications for the many friends and neighbours who are yet to experience the love of Christ!

Anyway back to the Elephants.

My mind has been flung back to 3 summers ago when I have the privilege to go and referee for three weeks in Capetown. This in itself was a life changing experience with many highlights, as well as significant spiritual challenges. Whilst there I was treated to a two day safari in Shamwari. (please see pictures above)

So many people, from yesterday at church have come back to me about the elephant. A good number of folk have expressed the same thought.

Elephants put their young, old and weak in the middle of the herd. The strong and fit ones look after them and protect them.

The reason for this, is quite obvious, this is the safest place and that it is the role of the 'fitter ones' to care for them and protect them from the advances of their enemies.

As I have reflected on the 'tired' Christians and the seeming apathy that so often invades Gods church in the west, I cannot but help think of the role that we each have to play, when it comes to caring for others.

The society in which we live today is very 'self absorbed'. It so often is about 'ME', what I want, what I can get, and I have no doubt that the 'self agenda' is rife within Church, in my experience.
Church has become about the style of songs I like, about who is preaching, even about the kind of cups we drink coffee out of. This consumer driven society has shaped Gods people to such an extent that church is being shaped in the same way. Sadly then when the weak, and frail start to fall by the wayside, people do not notice or even worse do not care. Their faith has become about their needs rather than about seeing the healthy whole body picture of Gods Church.

The Church would be so much healthier if they worked together. The picture of the heard of elephants is indeed a healthy model for us.

Who are the people that we need to be bringing into the centre, standing with and alongside. Do we need to make sure that people are safe rather than being alone?

My thoughts are that this can only happen through prayer and petition at this moment in time. I believe we need to be identifying people and praying earnestly for them. This will bring them close but also protect them.

Indeed when we stand in the presence of Jesus in prayer we are standing with many giants of the faith and walking in the footsteps of giants to.

Rich Tapestry

2011-05-21T08:05:00.010+01:00

The results of our actions can be massive, whether they be positive or sadly sometimes negative they all add, as has been said many times before to the rich tapestry of life.

I would say that one of the things I love most about my ministry is that no two days are the same and that you never really know whats coming. This must be unusal because so many ministers that i speak to follow such a set programme that they know where and what they are facing most days. I just think that must be so mundane and boring, but then i guess thats me!

Yesterday was definately such a day.

Got to lunch yesterday and nothing that I had been dealing with or which came my way was in the diary!

The phone rang and this rather elderly lady started to chat, with the words that I so often hear 'is that the Salvation Army?' she started with and then proceeded to tell me that she had donated to the work of the SA because she had seen an article about the amazing work with young people of Wetherby. The conversation went on for about 40 mins and Im thinking to myself why did I pick up the phone! Then she spoke about the life and minstry of David and Anne Watson ( a moden hero of mine) and how her grand daughter had been healed. It transpired that this must have happened in a meeting I was present at about 12 years ago. The key bit of her conversation was that if we needed and she could help us then she would be prepared to clean our toilets!

Now if this sounds strange you need to understand that David Watson taught that every person who came though his church needed to be humble enough and prove themselves by doing the lowest of minstries, eg cleaning the toilets. This is something we have always taught and sought to live by as well, especially over these last few years with our youth workers.

This lady reminded me that everything we do must demonstrate humilty and servanthood. Thank you Lord for this conversation and lady who reminded me and inspired me that such actions are so powerful.

After lunch a crazy day got even crazier.

Twelve disengaged building boys in the classroom doing their written coursework whilst I also formulated and planned my Sunday message. Now whoever timetabled the vocational course did a great job! Give them to Andrew on the last two lessons of a Friday afternoon!!! And make it even more fun by giving them two different classrooms at different ends of the school grounds. Simples! So when you arrive at the second classroom to find its locked and the key has disappeared from where it should be resulting in the twelves boys heading in different directions and myself trying to not only manage them but find them, lifes rich tapesty turns another page. Especailly as they thought lets play hide and seek fom SIR!! (i'm sir by the way)

I wouldnt want to admit it to loud but it was great fun as it poured with rain and I've lost my class. The boys were simply being children and enjoying life!

Here were people from different ends of life experiencing and teaching me so much about life in the course of a few hours.

As i look at so many of the people lives who come acoss my way, so often the pictures of their lives seem to me messed up and broken, but there can be beauty being created in their brokeness. 'He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him'. (Isaiah 53:1-3)

We must never assume that what seems like a mess to us is in fact so. We might well see a mess, maybe Jesus sees and is creating beauty!! The beauty of life is made so much more beautiful by the hand of Jesus crafting it!

Maybe we need to look upon what we think as mess through the eyes of Jesus, it may actually reveal beauty?

Victorious

2011-05-19T07:00:00.016+01:00

Living Victoriously!! Means different things to different people. For me its simply about surrender and trusting Jesus, with these two victory is assured!

The Elephant

2011-05-18T06:45:00.004+01:00

The elephant inspired me!

I recieved a picture message yesteday from my youth worker who was enjoying visiting an art gallery. Now you have to know Sarah to know how funny in itself this was. She said she had already been round everything twice and still had another 40 minutes to wait before her uni group could leave! The picture was of an elephant collapsed on the floor resting and asleep.

The reason I share this was becuase the words in the text made me laugh out loud in the room where i was sat. Sarah said look how im spending my day and now i have to theolocially reflect upon it!!

Strangely my text back apparently made her smile it read o thats easy when you feel burdened and weighed down by the world and the pressures of the day the bible counsels us 'come to me all you who are weary and i will give you rest', and, to 'be still and know that I am God'. Brilliant came back the response thats my essay done!

It was so simple.

Now interestingly the elephant was a significant event yesterday.

The day before had taken its toll, I was exhausted and had done to much too soon. I arrived at morning prayers hardly able to open my eyes and my body was tellling me Andrew you're a fool. I had decided I would just do a little bit of work then go home. Strangely I was then met by various people who were just pouring out there hearts to me, people who are going through some real battles and they just needed to be listened to. This for me was a special morning even though its not something that I expected to happen. The result of course was that upon my shoulders was not only my own exhaustion but everyone else burdens. Then came the elephant......

I went home collapsed on the sofa and simply rested with God and shared the brudens with him. I slept all aftenoon, unheard of. It felt good and surprise surprise this morning I awake refreshed ready to face the day again having slept all night as well.

So thank you Lord for the sleep and the rest and the peace in my spirit.

But also thank you for the elephant.

I'll Stand!

2011-05-17T06:24:00.004+01:00

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.......now I am showing my age when Im quoting songs from my youth!

[The woman in the picture is standing in the face of massive adversity. Whilst others have turned, run and walked away she stands in Iran seeking and declaring peace. A defiant stand.]

Its a great line though isnt, for when we are faced by challenges, we have a choice. To stand and face it or to turn and run. Now how people respond is very much based upon I would suggest the make up of their character. By nature I do not like conflict but I cant ignore it (at times i wish I could), but this is not an easy option or choice.

Yesteday I shared in the last assessment days for Essential youth workers here at our church. For the last 5 years we have had two or three youth workers with us for a year. We have been so blessed to have had the 12 young people influence our lives. Such a blessing. But as of September this will be no more. So we need to look at the next stage of what God has in store for us. One of the things I have said to them over the years is when the pressure comes upon you we will see your true character. My belief is that it is only really when things are tough and challenging that we really get to see the work that God has realy done in us. Its only then that we show how dependent and reliant we are upon Him to help and empower us.

We have a choice to face or run from the spiritual battles and challenges but nothing that comes our way is beyond us because God lives in us.

When Jesus walked to Calvary, he faced out the enemy. He literally laid his body on the line. His true depth of character was fully revealed. He totally flung himself upon His Father and trusted Him with His life and eternal future. BUT he was able to do this because He was totally full of the Holy Spirit.

As we, and I face the spiritual battles that are coming our way, I have to walk toward them, by nature I cannot turn and run, even if to be honest sometimes I really would want to! But then I am needing more of Gods Holy Spirit to shape my character, and personality so that I am able by His Spirit to not only face the 'works of the evil one' but also like Jesus to experience the power of being an overcomer.

I am able to do immeasurably more than I can imagine or dream. Because of God

I am able to know that God is my rock and my fortress my ever present help in times of touble

I am able to know that in all things God works for the good of those who are in Christ Jesus

I am able to know that the same power that was at work in Christ is at work within me.

Because therefore of Jesus I am able.........To face whatever comes my way...........In the power of the Holy Spirit.

I have been bought by the precious blood of Jesus and He stands and fights with me.

So even if everyone else wants to run, I am going to have to stand and face the battle. But whats amazing this morning is that Jesus stands right by my side! He's going nowhere for the battles are not in fact mine they are His!

Going underground

2011-05-15T13:07:00.004+01:00

Well today and the last few days have been days of great personal challenge. I have always said it but am more and more convinced now. Physical, emotional and spiritual health go together. If one is out of kilter then so are the rest?

The battle is intensifying. It feels to me a bit like the battleship at sea. The storm is raging the enemy is sending its missiles towards us, and it feels like its all going to go under. People are jumping ship all over the place, scared and feeling they cannot face another onslaught, when in fact what they should be doing is grouping closer together and holding and supporting one another.

We have spoken about in recent days being on the edge of something miraculous and awesome, a new work of God. I have spoken on this and seen the first signs of this. The obvious implication of this is therefore a heightened spiritual battle. AND yet Gods people dont seem to see or realise this fact indeed in many ways they are choosing not to recognsie it.

Let me explain further what I mean, for when I talk about Gods people I include myself in that.

Had a great morning this morning at church, the speaker was inspired and clearly God spoke to into peoples lives, including my own. We stood as a church reaching out to heaven asking him by His Holy Spirit to empower us to be more like Jesus. The speaker spoke about being a disciple of Jesus. I had to smile at one point when he said not because I tell you to but because of your loving relationship with Jesus. I couldnt help but flash back to Friday when I had been told because I tell you to.

Now having put in a 6 hours shift I came home wrecked, fell asleep for an hour and woke up knowing that I have to get loads of paperwork done before the youth workers assessment day tomorrow. I had been wise and already said I could not do the two meetings that I would normally attend on a Sunday evening (pats himself on back for being wise!). I felt wretched, but got myself up and went to the office to work.

I decided that maybe today was the day to buy a coffee, I needed one!!!! I bought my Coasta latte and headed up to my office. I looked at the coffee in front of me, I smelt it and I even took the cup to my lips. But it still sits next to me. The battle was on.

All the way through his blog I have been challenged and reminded that God wants control of my life, that I need Him. I need Him to be the first port of call. I need Him to be the person I have to rely on when its hard. I need to be spending my quiet time with him not drinking coffee.

And so I declare to all my loved ones and friends who read this. I need God.

I need God to be the person in whom I truly trust
I need God to be my first and last
I need God to be the person who is my everything

I dont need coffee I need Jesus to reign as the Captain of this ship, which is not sinking but will stand and fight no matter what storms come its way.

Why should I?

2011-05-13T17:41:00.008+01:00

You have to do it!

Now i dont know how you respond to these words, but i must confess that my instant inclination is to say why? I absolutely hate being told what to do! Am I in rebellion to authority? Or do i simply like to know the logic and reasoning behind decisions?

Why? Whats the point?

What for?
Whats the results?
Why??

Yes it could be said that I sound like a spolit child but by nature I really like to have answers and reasons behind this question, before I agree to do something.

My learning style if most definately one of questioning!

Today I was told by one of my senior leadership that I simply had to do something. I disagreed and rationally challenged the reasoning behind this and what was to be gained from doing what was being asked of me. Im always amazed when the answer to such requests is because u have to!!

I laughed inwardly as I was told I had to!

I stopped smiling when I was then told I had to do it times two because Im also responsible for another church!! O I was so impressed on top of trying to work when my body is telling me NO!!

Does the church just do things because it always has done it that way?
Does it allow itself to challenge its rationale and reasoning?

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten!!

A great church planting leader says we have to stop starting with the church!

What he is saying is that we need to continually allow God to challenge and shape our thinking. We need to allow God to ask of us the questions that cause us to think about our faith and how it relates to the world.

So rather than just accepting and doing as we are told, maybe we should in fact be asking more questions of church and how it works.

In fact perhaps we should be asking why does it exist?

As people are asking of us the questions of life and faith, I ask myself am i guilty of answering them by saying cause i say so? It seems that Jesus helped people discover their own answers to faith by often making statements that challenged peoples thinking and by askign more questions. Rarely did he give them direct answers I believe he encouraged people to discover the truth!

Lord help your church and myself not to answer peoples questioning by saying because I tell you to!

Under new ownership....

2011-05-11T08:44:00.003+01:00

Im not myself.....strange statement, but probably does describe how I am, but what does this really mean.

Im surely the same person that I was yesterday, last week, month or even year?! But am I?

3 years ago I had this same op and I am sure I was brighter,up and about quicker, but then as someone said to be you are older now than then!! You can imagine my response to this!!

The reality that whilst the key component of who I am, personality, character background, is the same, physically emotionally and spiritually surely I am continually changing?

Romans 12 speaks about being continually renewed.

But am I being changed for good? Am I becoming more like Jesus?

O I am feeling deep and reflective today. I am looking closely at my life.

I think I have got to much time to think, to be honest. But it is good and vital to self analyse.

Am i really what God wants me to be? Am I really living out the life that people expect from me? Am I distinct enough from the world? Or am I like everyone else around me?

Now before you all panic that the minister is having a crisis of faith, HE IS NOT! I do think that I need to allow God to challenge my life. Indeed in recent days, over Lent and since, I have asked him to hold a mirror upto myself and show me the things which are not right, not right with him.

I think I am like everyone else there are the obvious big things that I am fully aware of and wrestle with, even my bible hero Paul had thorns in the flesh (and thats not to excuse them), but I think there is so much more work that God the Holy Spirit has to do in me. BUT I dont believe God beats me up, even if on occasions I do!

Over these last days I am realising that even in the spiritual battle that happens over my life and my ministry that God continues to love me, I believe with a passion. He continues to be close to me in my 'darkness and pain', even when I could argue I dont deserve it.

You see the love of God and his acceptance and desire for us is all about Him not us!!

As I have been thinking this morning I cannot help but think about how Jesus sees me, I just need to make sure I accept and believe it.

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, the mighty warrior who saves you, He will take great delight in you, in his love he will not longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.

You see, its all about who God is and not me. It is about who I am in Him, not who I once was. So maybe Im not myself! Im under Gods ownership!!

Don't panic....

2011-05-10T13:41:00.005+01:00

May 10th 4.17am is etched already on my memory. It is one of those few times when I have experienced pure fear. Now thats me being very very honest!

I have been the model patient since my op, well almost. Taking it easy doing as instructed, resting, and even trying not to work much. Well trying. Everything seemed to be going really well. I was even thinking of heading into the office for a few hours even today.

Now without being melodramatic, I awoke with my whole leg full of pins and needles, and what felt like a searing pain in my calf. I woke up, thought, o i have obviously laid on it wrong and walked about the lounge for 20 minutes or so assuming it would clear up. Nothing happened if anthing it got worse.

Now I have been sleeping downstairs on the sofa, so as not to disturb the family and so that i did not have to climb up the steps. But now I felt totally alone! I did not want to wake up the family but the hospital had told me to watch out for such syptoms. What was I to do?

I processed in my head the usual bloke things like o there is nothing wrong, dont be daft, get to sleep. I then logged onto the laptop checked out what i thought was happening and all the symptons seemed to be what i thought was happening, that being a clot on my leg. I tried to sleep but just before 7.00 am woke Andrea and went to hospital. My worst fears were straight away compounded as the doctors said we suspect a clot so we need to do loads of tests.

Now Im not one for being ill, and im definately not one for going to hospital. But now apparently my blood pressure was high and the ECG was showing some strange readings!

I had to wait for the results of the blood tests, which would show up if a clot was present. I sat in my cubicle, for what seemed ages, in fact it was just under an hour and a half. I was racked with fear, so anxious, scared and lonely.

Now all of last week I had supported people who were anxious, who were facing massive things in their lives. I had spoken about the love of God that casts out fear. My advice was real and bibilically based but I have never before found myself really in that place.

As i sat fearing the worst, I was praying with a heart cry and passion to God. I was crying out to the God who was so close he did not need to hear me shouting to him. He was sat right in the cubicle with me, but my fear, was getting in the way.

I found myself singing the words, I need thee every hour, most gracious Lord. I sang it over and over again. I prayed and I sung that God would dispel the fear. As I was singing this I could see the two doctors who were treating me speaking to two other doctors they kept looking at my paperwork ( I knew this as I could hear them speaking about me!!) Fear racked my spirit once more.

All the worst accusations and attacks of the enemy headed right for my head and heart. I prayed aloud the words of psalm 51, create in my a pure heart o God and renew a steadfast spirit within me....

The peace of God flooded over my being as the doctors said the blood tests showed there was no clot.

I got out of there as quick as possible and jumped on the bus home, shattered but peaceful.

The lasting memory of this experience is that I did not need to shout to God as He was as He has always been, close by my side. He loves it when we as his children cry out we need him. I did not need to fear because even if the worse had been true he would have held me. Today I was a bit like the disciples in the boat when Jesus was asleep panicking. I showed little faith, but thankfully I am loved by a mighty God!

Climbing the walls.....

2011-05-09T10:06:00.005+01:00

Patience is a virtue but not one I possess! Im climbing the wall already, can you imagine my poor family!

Just two days on from my op and I find myself deeply frustrated, and thats putting it mildly! Knee mending ok I think but this anestetic has knocked me out again this time. I guess thats cause being so big they have to use an elephant drop?! Unheard of being in bed after 10.00am how on earth do people do it? Anyway faced with a choice. I could sit and endure this stuff called day time TV, but after 5 minutes there is no way Im doing that! Are these people for real? Do they get paid to say this stuff? Or are they really victims of our broken society? Which ever is the answer there is no question it is really sad. But I guess this is helps fill peoples time!

So what to do with my time?

I think for once in my life im going to try and be wise. So my paper has been purchased ready to read, I have my puzzle books by my side and I will enjoy the peace and quiet. How disciplined can I be today. How long before i check my emails? As most people know im not great at being still, but maybe thats what today is all about.

I am more than confident that all my staff and colleagues are able to cope without me, they are very able. So I need to sit back and enjoy the space which I do not normally have. I will need not only to be patient but very disciplined. Phone rang just after 8.00am from someone who obvioulsy thought I should respond to them even though they had rung twice over weekend and emailed.

There really is no time off from ministry, as i have said before it is a 24/7 lifestyle. As I sat yesteday aftenoon supporting someone who is going through it i was reminded that Jesus so often must have just wanted to get away from the demands and pressures that people put on him. It was not that he did not care, or love them or want to help them but there must have been times when he simply withdrew to take stock, time out, to be with his Father in communion and prayer.

These last two days have shown me similar. Yesterday whilst I wanted space the persons needs were such that I could not send them away, nor would I. As I have said this life is not something you put on, it is who you are. BUT today I am withdrawing, not hiding, i will take the space and quiet rather selfishly for myself. I will keep telling myself this will do me good................. even when I am climbing the wall.

Peacemakers

2011-05-07T14:17:00.003+01:00

Well in a week of seeming world turmoil, there has been so much unrest. On a global scale people weighing up the consequences of their actions. On a national level the local elections and the vote against AV when seemingly many people believed it was time for a change. And then locally I have been, very anxious in my own spirit, which is most unlike me. I have not been able to get away from it.

As i have continued to fast, as God has asked of me, things have been revealed to me, which can only be off God. I don't mean this in a boastful way, but simply to illustrate that God is at work and the miraculous outpouring that I believe we are on the verge of is starting to happen. A consequence of this is that Gods people are most definitely under the cosh.

As i have been trying to get everything done before my op, trying to clear the diary it has seemed as if everyone suddenly has needed me? And people always have to come first. So many people seem to be wrest less in their spirit and their faith is being challenged in all manner of ways. But surely if we are to grow then we need to have our faith stretched?

Earlier in my blog this week i asked whether or not we were in last days? It would be easy to read the signs and say yes we appear to be. We therefore need to be prepared and aware that we need to keep close to Jesus in all our decisions and actions. We need to pray for those who are peacemakers and who are seeking out justice. In the midst of all the turmoil, God can bring peace.

As i said my spirit has felt anxious this week and i would have expected it to have been in hospital yesterday, but I had the most amazing sense of peace in my spirit. I experienced and knew that Gods people were holding me before Jesus. Everything was stilled in me through the pray-ers, those who were therefore the peace makers! I had an amazing day speaking with nurses and doctors and even the nurse who was there to put me to sleep was talking about her sister who was a minister in the Philippines and of her own church in Harrogate and then the nurse who was with me when i came round talked about people who she knew in our church, who were lovely people.

The reason i share this is because through the prayers of Gods people things happen. So through prayer and fasting we can become peacemakers!

Blessed are the peacemakers!

The Weakling

2011-05-06T07:07:00.003+01:00

One of my guys preached his first sermon, this past Sunday. He made me laugh when before hand he said to me do you still get nervous!! My response pleased him, or so he said, 'yes every week, and im glad I do!' It is then that we have to rely on God to help us.

How interesting thou was his response back to me, 'O you never look it you are so strong!'

If only that were true, he doesn't see how many trips I make each Sunday morning to the toilet for a wee, or three, or four!

I find it interesting that I am seen as a strong leader, and indeed I am by so many. Im not boasting, that it how I am seen. AND yet I know that I am in fact a weak leader but that God continually comes through for me time and time again, despite me. This shows the amazing love and commitment that Jesus has to us even though we continue to sin and fail him.

I share this because it is only in our weakness that we have any hope of being strong. Today being a man facing hospital i am feeling week and yet strong. Its amazing when Gods people simply say, we are praying for you. I am so encouraged, and so blessed! What an amazing blessing to be ministered back to when you are so often the one who gives. Thank you God for the amazing blessing of church. Yesterday and today I have known that God is at work in His people because I have experienced the blessings of their love. What a great thought to go off to hospital with!

I came from there......

2011-05-05T07:18:00.004+01:00

Had my last game of the season last evening, a local cup final between two Leeds teams. As I travelled with my touch judge to the game we were laughing and joking, talking about the games we have been part of this season. Its been a long and hard season, with probably far too many games and with my knee injured since November. I have my op on one maybe both of my knees tomorrow, so heres hoping I might be able to sleep pain free soon!

Anyway we got to the club, and we both commented on how spoilt we are at the level we referee nationally. The pitch was a mixture of dust, rutted soil and dandelions everywhere, (now you need to realise that we officiate on a Saturday on what are like massive well kept lawns)!

The game itself was watched by about 250 local supporters who expressed their views in caustic language having had several drinks, ended yet again in a high scoring match 58-22. The legs kept going but as I came off every part of my lower body seemed to ache. But we came of with a smile having enjoyed ourselves yet again. I do love my rugby, its such a vital part of who I am.

Someone who I know said to me thanks for refereeing and not forgetting us down here. He was meaning that when referees get to the national level they often forget the small local clubs where they learned how to referee, and indeed many think they are above such clubs and games.

How easy is it to forget from where we have come? To forget what we were pre Jesus? To forget what he has rescued us from. As Christians we must never forget who we were as this helps us not only to be thankful to Jesus but also helps us to identify with our broken humanity. It is vital to have a non judgemental faith. So many people are put of from believing because Christians think more highly of themselves than they should.

I know Im a sinner. I know that Jesus loves me but I also know that I still mess up and still need the forgiveness of Jesus. Thank God today that I have not forgotten from where I have come! How can I?! But I also thank God that I continue to know and experience His love and forgiveness.

Evidence is needed......

2011-05-04T08:15:00.005+01:00

What a crazy mixed up world we live in..... The more I reflect on the events of recent days and weeks the more I am convinced what this world needs is a real hard look at itself and some compassionate and God fearing leadership.

Having spoken about the events of the last few days it struck me that what I have talked about and observed has been;

The celebration of death to

The fear in death

Now we need the evidence of death.

Each of these three points have such a resonance with the Easter message and alongside this goes the word of the great song, In Christ Alone.

In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light my strength, my song......

What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when strivings cease.......

No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from his hand..........

But today as people are all clamouring for evidence, why is this? Why do people have to see with their own eyes? Why cant they trust peoples word? Well I guess we all know the answers to each of these points? Linking to Thomas who declared unless I see....

Believing in God is a massive risk. We may not be able to see with our own eyes? We are called to put our trust in an unseen God! Or are we? I believe there is evidence all around us as to the reality of God. I see it everywhere. But why do I see when others cant? We are told in scripture that the spirit of this age has blinded the eyes of unbelievers. But is this reason for them not to see? es in some ways, but Im thinking if we as Christians were so on fire for Jesus would not the light be so bright that all would see? Would not the evidence be irrefutable?

So if its evidence people need, lets give it to them. Lets show the reality of Jesus. Lets do it. There is so much evidence right now that Jesus is not dead but is alive! Can you see??

What next?

2011-05-03T06:43:00.005+01:00

I awoke like many yesterday to a world seemingly in celebration, or so the media would have us believe. As I awoke today I couldnt help but wonder what would be over the news? I rushed down, well as much as an old crock can rush a few days before his impending knee op! What a surprise, the world seemingly has gone from celebration to fear?? How can these two go together? Celebration and fear? Or is it that the second is of a reality for people?

Now I must confess as I reflect on recent days and the heavenly collision that seems to be taking place before my eyes, there were times when it was obvious to me and others that this event, the death of Osama Bin Laden, possibly was not the end of anything but more likely the start of more terror and destruction around the world. And suddenly fear seems to be sweeping across the continents. Now some will argue that we have been living in fear for many years so this is no new thing.

Fear is such a powerful spiritual and emotional weapon.

As a Christian minister, the only fear I should be living under is the awesome fear of God! He is able to do anything. He is able to speak into history. He is able to transform what seems to be hopeless situations. He is able through love to dispel fear from peoples hearts and minds. He is able...... Fear the Lord your God the word says.

DO i fear tomorrow and the consequences of what is taking place in the world. Or do I believe in the sovereignty of GOD, who is ultimately in control. Do I allow the love of God to overcome fear? As the heavens collide then there is no doubt that the biggest challenge that we as believers face is to live out and show the love of God in all things. It is the perfect love of God that drives out fear. We need to love as Christ first loved us.

We have a God given opportunity to love people into the kingdom as many will be challenged to think and face their future. I believe that love is the answer.

The Heavenly Collision

2011-05-02T08:21:00.006+01:00

I still to this day can remember walking through the Yorkshire dales on a beautiful morning when Nelson Mandela was set free from his prison in South Africa. It was a day of great symbolism and freedom was declared on the back of it for many millions of black Africans. There have been many days in history when people all around the world have woken up to 'breaking news'. Is today one of those days?

Im not sure how I feel about the images i have just watched from America and around the world in regard Osama Bin Ladens death as people danced and partied around the White House.

We have in recent weeks and months seen our world seemingly falling apart either though natural disasters, Christchurch and Japan, or through growing wars and battles across the middle East, seemingly a new country each new day.

What is going on?

Im trying to keep some perspective on this, but what is happening on a gobal level is also, in my opinion happening on a local level. Called out last evening to a situation that was just evil, and in recent days things happening to Gods people which you could so easily just brush away as part of life. But I cant do. My Spirit wont let me! It feels to me as if the powers of light and darkness are colliding at present in a way that I cannot remember in my lifetime? Am I being over the top? Have I got this all wrong?

Now let me explain. In recent months there has been a growing awareness of the work of God in peoples lives. People have been talking about a growing urgency in their prayer lives. People have been talking and experiencing new things of God. The miraculous is being experienced and on top of all of this as we have been praying and fasting God has been calling us deeper to grow our faith. All this happening during the period of Lent and now in the lead up to Pentecost.

As I have fasted I have been aware that it was forcing me to spend more time communing and listening to God. This has been both a hard and costly experience but also a time of real blessing. BUT these global tensions, which are being worked out in the heavens, are also the same kind of pressures being worked out in individual lives including my own! There is a real tension to live the submitted life that is hungry and desiring to follow God weighed against the tensions of our own humanity and wanting things that are not good for us, even if they might feel as if they are?

What does this mean?

In the last days I will pour out my Spirit on all peoples......As a disciple of Jesus the greatest desire and greatest need I have has to be to follow what the Lord requires of me! But its going to get harder if I am reading the signs correctly of what is happening in the heavenlies....?

Today it feels like we have to pray and fast more. Greater is he who is in us than is in the world. He is more than a conqueror. Death could not contain Him. The same power that conquered the grave lives in me lives in you is the song the keeps resonating to me. I think that many Christians and myself are going to have to believe this and not just sing it in the days ahead.

The Majesty of Royalty

2011-04-29T07:04:00.002+01:00

Well its going to be crazy today isnt it? Millions of people on the streets and apparently around the television sets watching the 'great event'. Apparently millions upon millions will be spent on celebrating the event. People wanting to have that lasting momento, whether that be a bit of pottery or a flag or a tiara or a crown.......The world has gone crazy! (In my view)

Its not that I am a republican or anti the monarchy even, Im just apathetic to all the hype and hysteria that I know will be around today. I just cant see what all the fuss is about. Does this make me a typical grumpy middle aged man? Perhaps it does. But again I find myself in conflict with what the world sees as exciting, world changing and what I think and feel. I cant get my head around the sheer amount of money this will cost, when I have been dealing with people this week who cant feed themselves etc....

To be honest I have loads of work to get done for the weekend so will probably find myself sat at the office this morning, switched off and oblivious to it all? (It has given me some great ideas for Sunday however)

Thinking about my non christian friend yesterday who exclaimed out loud in the school office ive seen Jesus I couldnt help but smile to myself. Here was a sensible well educated man, who was genueinly excited by his encounter, even though he does not believe! Just how counter cultural Jesus was and is. He was and is the King of kings, if anyone should have ridden into history in a solid gold carriage then surely it should have been Him? Yet he turned the standards and values of the world upside down, he came in great humilty and still does.

I am thinking that everytime I worship, pray and sing and I am standing in the presence of Majesty, Royalty. I am an honoured guest. I do not need a special admission ticket. He gives me His undivided attention, as if I am the only person who is in His presence. Indeed He is the one who is to be honoured but He has this amazing ability infact to make it feel as if I am being honoured by Him?

Majesty worship His majesty. Unto Jesus be glory honour and praise...........Today I exalt Jesus, who is King of kings and Lord of lords. He indeed is worthy of a great street party!

Believe in me, why?

2011-04-28T06:58:00.005+01:00

Reflecting on the disciples and there responses to Jesus has been a fascinating experience in recent days. You cannot help but see the different actions and responses in those who are around yourself either. But the thing that intrigues me today is that when Jesus was discipling his disciples he was very much asking them to believe in Him. To look at His life and do likewise. To look at His life and see The Father revealed.

There is the saying, It does what it says on the label. Jesus did what He said He would do! He made many outrageous statements, but always delivered against them. When Thomas was struggling to believe after the resurrection, he was encouraged to touch the side of Jesus. Jesus words back to him say it all though, blessed are you who have not yet seen but believe.

I heard of this crazy story from a work colleague who said he saw jesus on Monday on the cycle path. A rather dishevelled, stubbly man came out of the over grown sidings walked up the pathway then just disappeared before his eyes. As my friend said i saw Jesus! And then he disappeared. This was the second such sighting from the Monday after Easter Sunday someone spoke to me about. What do I believe of this?

There is so much more to see of Jesus and His work that we have not seen with our eyes, and yet I cannot get away from the fact that I believe. I believe in the power of God to transform, heal, deliver and restore people. I believe that Jesus is at work. I believe that there is hope for tomorrow in a world which seems to be falling apart.

I heard yesterday of a man mid 30's who committed suicide leaving a 2 year old child because he did not know how to face tomorrow and was worried sick about money. Thats a terrible and sad place to get to. The role of Gods disciples today is to live out what they believe and to declare the truth that Jesus spoke into the world and into our lives. People need truth and answers today, they are seeking them out how paramount it is then that we are prepared to do what it says on the label.

Our label is Christian, follower of Jesus, display it boldly and clearly with no apologetic then people will see that Truth.

Believe me?

2011-04-26T13:04:00.002+01:00

So who does believe in these young people???

The 15 year old who now cant live at home and is all alone, the young man who is so happy because his dad has just got out of prison but is already involved in drugs again. The 14 year old girl who thinks she has to sleep around just to get attention. The young man who cant be bothered and doesnty think anyone believes in them, so whats the point of going to college or even trying in exams?

All from one morning working alongside a group of disengaged young people in the building room. Young people who I am trying to desperately show that they have meaning and status and value and much more.

In the midst of all of this one of my team was talking about post Easter, post resurrection what happens next? Well of course we look forward to the coming of the Holy Spirit, Pentecost. The transformational working power of God. Why dont we pray, quite simply come Holy Spirit upon these broken young people and make them whole? Why dont we? Well I think we should so I will! Im going to start praying with the young people in their brokeness and trust God to sort it out, by His Healing Power.

He is able so come on Lord the same power that conquered the grave lives in you, lives in me

Day 47

2011-04-24T19:50:00.002+01:00

The greatest day in history.......

I have to say in many years of celebrating Easter Sunday few can compare to today. We even experienced glorious sunshine all day. There was a real excitement with Gods people and worship was simply awesome with no small amount of joy and excitement too.

As I have reflected upon this lent journey, there appears also to have been something that has happened within the church and our worship. It has felt to me as if we have either rediscovered a deeper yearning and longing for God, or God has broken something in the heavens over the church. There is no doubt in my mind that in recent weeks, God has been be moving in might and in power and calling us his people deeper.

I am trying to work out whether this experience is down to the fact that we have been fasting and praying in a way that we have not done before? I am thinking they must be linked! So what is God saying through this. I sense in my spirit that God is breaking though in our lives and community and that there is more to come! SO I believe that I am going to continue to blog and share what I believe God is saying and for the time being to continue to wait on God in fasting.

Bless him, I was brought a Costa flat white this morning as well by a member of the church. I looked at it and didn't touch it. I am convinced there is more to come so i will continue to do what God is asking of me, at present its not to need coffee. Lord pour own your spirit on this town and church I pray.

Day 46

2011-04-23T10:51:00.004+01:00

There, well almost but not quite.....So will I or wont I??

It does not seem possible that it six weeks since I tasted coffee. Im soon to be on my way to rugby and again I would normally have my coffee and muffin on the way, but as with the previous 6 Saturdays I will not, but will I want to drink one tomorrow, when I can?

Its a bit like that first Easter, almostt here but not quite yet. Im waiting for tomorrow, for Easter Sunday!

Been thinking about this lots. Was the point to set myself a goal and then recieve the reward when I arrive at that goal? NO! It was about far more than that. I was thinking do I go and sit in Costa on Sunday afternoon and order my Latte or Flat White and enjoy it. Do I sit in the garden in the unusally summer weather put my feet up and enjoy a home made Columbian? or do I not bother and continue not to drink it?

Im not sure of my answer, but I do know that the experience has had so many benefits to my physical and spiritual life that I need to think about my answer some more before I act upon it.

Maybe I will become a tea totaller........now I never saw that coming!

Day 45

2011-04-22T06:34:00.002+01:00

Well its arrived, Good Friday. I've woken early with my head spinning with thoughts about today, what it means and what lies ahead. Today will be significant I believe in the town as Christians gather together. However my primary thoughts right now are, what must Jesus have been feeling as he awoke and waited for what lie ahead of himself on the first Good Friday?

He had already sat with his disciples the night before and expressed his love to them, at the same time as knowing he was about to be betrayed and denied. Now the day must have unfolded i imagine in a kind of slow motion film? Jesus waiting for each scene to develop in front of his eyes.

How painful must that have been. Waiting, knowing and then realising? Could this have been even harder than the death on the cross? Deserted by his loved one, rejected by those who had watched him do miracles and followed him around. Then mocked and falsely accused. This was emotional torment and abuse. Jesus didn't just die physically, he was emotionally destroyed as well! I think this is a new insight for me. So much of Good Friday centres in on the pain of the suffering on the cross, but Jesus was being put to death emotionally by those closest to him, those in whom he had invested his time and love. and yet he still loved them!!

This Easter i am learning more about the enormity of the gift of love. It is blowing my mind away. No matter what i do, say or am, God loves me, and you. Not just simply he loves me but HE LOVES ME!!!! (Must go and find the song he loves me o how he loves me)

Day 44

2011-04-21T07:02:00.004+01:00

Waiting. Looking forward. Full well knowing. 3 statements that must have been emotions that Jesus was going though on the Thursday before that first Good Friday. As I heard last evening spoken at our prayer night, Jesus knew who was going to betray him and still he sat with him and loved him! What an amazing example.

For me the idea of waiting is not something that i naturally enjoy doing....but waiting knowing the enormity of what was about to happen, what must have gone on in Jesus' heart that day?

For so many years I have waited for God to realy pour out himself upon his church and this community. I have longed for the reality of Jesus to become the vocal point in people lives, and i dont know why but there is something in me that says this is close. I have had it laid on my heart that tomorrow we should seek to anoint the church, God people publicly on the streets of Wetherby. So at the start of the walk of witness we are going to call people forward to pray with them and to anoint them with oil. This is a public statement of faith and devotion to Jesus. I am a little anxious, no a lot anxious about how this will be received. I feel like peoples repsonses my be quite extreme, but.......I just know I have to do this.

Now I think that no matter what, the way that Jesus responded on Maunday Thursday is exactly how I need to, that is to love no matter what is said or expressed by those close to you. I am praying that this act will break open heaven over this town. Join me would you in praying this into reality.

Day 43

2011-04-21T06:44:00.003+01:00

Its good to go home. But where is home?

On what was the most glorious day, sunshine streaming down I found myself in the most beautiful part of the country. East Anglia. Now I know I am biased, but there cannot be many more beautiful parts of this county in my view. Great scenery, beautiful towns and villages and just a great speed of life, slow! I had the privilege of travelling around with a good and dear Chrisitian minister, Cliff Alchin all day, looking at potential new places where the SA could start new expressions of faith. As the sun streamed down, I couldnt help but be affected by everything thing that i saw and experienced (especially the sun, head got bit burnt and rape seed triggered my hay fever!!)

But one thing in particular affected me. I visited a homeless project for 18-25 year olds. The SA are looking at ways it can influence and reach these young people with the good news. It was stated that 'we' didnt know how to reach them! This amazed me. Surely the way they were being reached was by, being offered accomodation, love, support, time, a listening ear and by the staff living out their Christian lives? But then of course I realised the issue. Our social centres are now so reliant on 'the state' that we are not even now allowed to specify that people must be Christians to work in our social centres. This seems to me to be where we are missing the opportunities that are laid in front of our eyes, and why because things sometimes slowly change without us realising...?

It confirmed for me again that we must continue to make sure that as Christians we set high standards and keep the values of the kingdom in front of people. But it also threw me a challenge, do I live out these values enough that I am influencing people? If I lived in that centre woudl those young adults see Jesus. I hope they would, but I dont think I can afford to presume they would!

Day 42

2011-04-19T06:52:00.006+01:00

Good morning world! As I look out on yet another beautiful morning I cannot help but think how blessed we have been through this lenten period by the amazing weather and the waking up from winter of Gods creation.

As I look out of our bay window this morning there is a tree directly opposite in my next door neighbours garden which has suddenly become laden with crimson blossom. It has instantly reminded by of the blood of Jesus shed upon the cross. I had already walked downstairs singing o the wonderful cross. This week so far in our reflections the cross has dominated my thinking, in a new way. I have challenged all this year to gain some new insight into the Easter story, and for me it seems to be the cross. How strange??

How can it be that a Christian of a number of years is being so challenged and getting so excited about the cross? Well as I have said to others this year my prayer for them and myself was that we might come to this Easter as if it were our first. Hence O the wonderful cross.

Does this mean that something has changed? Does it means that I have not understood it properly before? O is it simply that Jesus and me have been on the journey through Lent and I have been preparing my heart and mind more than ever before and as such he is surpassing my expectancy and filling me with awe and excitement? I think this is it. Ive certainly never fasted for so long with something that really has hurt and cost me as much as this experience has. But that excitement is sweeping through Gods people as well. Last night was an amazing gathering, I was yes amazed by how many people gathered. Awesome.

So the cross is indeed wonderful.......wonderful that he should give his son to die for me, Gods love is wonderful!!! I hope you know that to?

Day 41

2011-04-18T06:39:00.003+01:00

So near and yet so far. Not quite sure why but the temptation to have that coffee has intensified in the last few days once more. Is this because the end is nigh, or because my resistance is getting low, or is it just the fact that I am asking whether or not I will have a cup on Easter Sunday? Im not really sure, but one thing I am sure of is this. This time of fasting has been far more than about just coffee.

I woke this morning, about 5.30am singing Thank you for the cross, thank you for the cross, thank you for the cross my friend. Now for those of you who might be concerned about how Andrea responded to this, be assured I sang it quietly in my mind! But what an amazing demonstration of love the cross is.

Im wondering if the excitement in my spirit this easter time is because it is coming at the end of a dedicated time of fasting? I dont believe I have ever fasted from something for such a long period of time. It seems that people who have gone through similar experiences talk about how this intensifies your thoughts and your goals. Is this why the cross seems to be dominating my thoughts more? Or is it simply that due to all my rugby injuries catching up on me I am, as i said the other day walking around, or waddling around like an old man. The pain is with me all day long and have this turned by thinking to the pain and sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.

I think we do need to see anything that is causing us pain against the cross, whether that been spiritual, emotional or physical pain. How does it compare to Jesus and all that he endured for us? Indeed im thinking that it is when we are in pain we need to be driven to the place of ultimate healing which is ironically to the cross. What caused Jesus the ultimate pain, is the place of our healing. No wonder I find myself singing again:

O what a glorious day, what a glorious day when Jesus saved me!

Day 40

2011-04-17T15:31:00.005+01:00

Blessed is He who comes......Im excited, honestly so excited. Jesus is coming afresh upon His Church and upon me. Its awesome that in the midst of all my humanity, sin, weakness, and strength that God would do a new thing in me, in us.

Im excited in the midst of some heavy and challenging stuff, this story is coming afresh to my spirit. Today as we gathered as a church I really believe that it is right that we come before the presence of the mighty Lord, our Saviour this holy week.

We really do need God the Holy Spirit to help us reimagine the story. I keep thinking that we need to approach this story, this reality as if we have never heard or experienced it ever before. We had visitors to church this morning, who were well blessed by God through their experience of being with us. God spoke to one of them and said that they should ask if they can pray with me? So they stood in faith and asked if i minded? Of course not I responded. It was interesting that they felt at home and confident enough in Christ just to do it. This greatly encouraged me of course.

This afternoon I have sat preparing my mind and heart to lead tonights worship at the start of this week by listening to worship songs on you tube. I have been so blessed as i have immersed and lost myself in Gods presence. I am being reminded that even though my body feels as if it is falling apart, aching, throbbing and held together, well just about, God reminds me that He loves me from the inside out. Awesome.

Im excited....this week is all about Jesus, and as I look to next sunday it is not too that coffee which I have been waiting for but to the power of His Resurrection experienced in power and in love in my innermost being.

Blessed indeed is He who come in the name of the LORD!

Day 39

2011-04-15T19:15:00.006+01:00

Coffee!!!! Coffee!!!! Calling me.......

Tomorrow thousands of people will put their bodies through the agony of the marathon. Many will enter into it will good intentions, having put the hard work in and many will be doing it for fun!!! Fun !! But to use a metaphor from the marathon it feels like to me as if Ive now hit the wall, the marathon is getting close to the finish but why would i keep going? Ive not spoken about it or really been to bothered about it, so why not just have a coffee on my way to rugby with my muffin as I always do on a Saturday? Indeed the way I have been feeling, I should probably drink 4 cups todays to get me going!!

I think there are two reasons. The first is by nature I do not give in, I am a focused, some say stubborn person who when he sets his mind to do something does it. The other reason is that this was something I believed God was asking me to do and as such then we have a 'deal'! I have gained so much insight and have learned so much about the way I interact with God and the way that he leads me. I have actually been surprised by how beneficial this has been. It has not been easy, so much of my life and indeed my ministry has been built around the coffee cup and by taking this away has made me look at other ways i can share and live out my faith. I have not visited my coffee shop in the town, and many of the people have missed me I hear and my conversations with them

I have not spoken about it, much but this has not been an easy experience. It seems to me as if i have little energy, and really my physical well being has i think suffered through this, but then in comparison to Christs sacrifice, well.......I in no way though want people to think this has been an easy experience it hasnt, but it has been massively beneficial to my spirit, and that was the reason i needed to do this.

Has it been about sacrifice? Well is there really any sacrifice when it comes to following Jesus? So today as I journey to rugby I may well want a coffee but I wont because my discipleship is about denying myself and following Jesus. What a way to live! Thank you Lord that you have called me to follow and allowed me the privilege.

Day 38

2011-04-15T14:00:00.002+01:00

Physically, emotionally drained....It has been the mother or all weeks. Just about starting to get better, but just not myself. You know what it like when you feel like this dont you? Having travelled hundreds of miles round Scotland I got back late last evening and simply crashed. However it means now that today I have so much to get done for the weekend, that I genuinely am bogged down. Add to all of this a son, whose laptop has crashed with all his college and work stuff on it, things which you expected to be done and finished not even begun and all in all, Andrew not a happy Easter bunny. It was in the midst of all of these feelings that i have sat down to prepare my heart and thoughts for the coming weekend and more importantly for Holy week. I guess that Jesus went through many and varied emotions, as he prepared his heart and mind for what His Father had in store for him leading upto the first Easter? Me, I have a heavy head cold and am like a grumpy middle aged man! Thank God that Jesus did not allow his emotions and how he felt to get in the way of His walk to Calvary.

Day 37

2011-04-14T07:25:00.002+01:00

Today I have woken up feeling so rough still from this horrid head cold, sinuses aching, face throbbing, and nose full of gunk that seems endless. Its been a hard week as im not one who is normally ill. This coupled with lonely hotel room for a few nights and strangely not being able to sit and drink coffee or sit in coffee shops has meant my head has been far to active, and im not sure in a good way. However in the midst of this my visit to Scotland has confirmed several things to be:

We need to be planting far more new communities of faith than we are doing.

There are Christians who are disillusioned with Church but really want to be envisioned to serve God.

That both of the above continue to be things that excite and motivate me in regard to my calling.

So in the midst of feeling rubbish God has once more confirmed and reminded me of what I am about. I dont know why, but God seems to have given me a natural understanding of how to see and know how to build news churches. As well as having an ability to engage people in regard to faith. Nothing I didnt know, but a confirmation which is good. On top of this today I get to meet with one of my heroes of faith in recent years Bobbie Mac, an amazing prayer warrior who has in past years really shaped so much of my own thinking. And guess what today I get to inform and help him (!!) work out how his new church can more effectively plant church! I am really looking forward to seeing him and I am more than sure that he will be used by God to speak into my life, which will be great. God works for the good of those who are in Christ Jesus, even in the midst of a physically horrid week God has yet again been so good and gracious. God is a good God!

Day 36

2011-04-13T15:57:00.010+01:00

Well today has been fascinating. Im in a different country. Scotland!!! I need the gift of interpretation...... Seriously what a beautiful country.

I have been travelling around and meeting a number of people who live and breathe out their ministry across the city of Glasgow. Man there are some really hard places up here. Two teenagers stabbed on a Sunday afternoon outside the hall, gang warfare and much more.

The overriding thought that has come back and back again throughout today is that the light shines in the darkness and the darkness cannot hide it. Also my thoughts from yesterday, in England, are still with me. Even though things seem dead resurrection can happen. What seems dark and dead can be brought to life and flourish under the direction of the Holy Spirit.

Standing looking at the city, even the whole of this nation, you could so easily see it like that valley of dead dry bones, darkness and despair. Indeed enough church people have procloaimed death over this country. Well that is at first glance, in fact what is happening is that there are the first shoots of growth and hope. People who are passionate and desperate to see God at work. Belieiving in faith and in the power of the resurrection. You see they are not prepared to accept things as hopeless, because Jesus means more to them than that. They believe in the God of resurrection who is able to turn this round. And something in me just senses He will.....

Day 35

2011-04-12T06:46:00.003+01:00

As I begun the task yesterday of hand writing a little note to everyone linked to the church, i became quickly aware of

why i don't write anything but type everything, my handwriting is terrible, school was never a strong point for me
just how many people are or have been linked and influenced by the church
how fortunate i am to have such a great people not only under my spiritual care but also whom i count as friends,

What I did realise as i sat going through this process was just how different people are with their skills, characteristics and personalities. We are such a broad church. It was soon obvious that my role has been and must continue to be to help every person on their own journey of faith realise the potential that Christ sees in them and that he desires to use within the community.

You see bones but I see and army (Floyd McClungs Book) was one of the best books I have read in recent years. In fact I gave it to someone yesterday who was asking some big spiritual leadership questions. In the book he unpacks about the Ezekiel vision of dry bones. Was it hopeless, dead, or could and did God bring it back to life??

Perception is everything, or so they say. As i reflect on this vision, it so easily links to the tomb of Jesus, in man's eyes it all seemed over, dead, useless but then the power of God was released into it. The same power that brought the bones to life, we sing about, the same power that conquered the grave lives in me lives in me...

So friends when it seems as if it is lacking in life, or as if things are hopeless, or that we cant do it, or that we feel helpless it is then that Christ by His Holy Spirit can bring about transformation, indeed it is only when we are in such positions that we can truly experience Gods power.

Maybe we should stop seeing bones but should see the army of people empowered by the breathe of God helping all to achieve more than they ever will in their human dead bodies.

Day 34

2011-04-11T06:49:00.007+01:00

I have been feeling wretched the last few days, got like a really heavy head cold. Sore throat thumping head, streaming eyes and aching body. As well as a throbbing knee and now a ripped calf muscle. As someone helpfully said yesterday you are 'getting old'! Helpful thanks!! It does feel like outwardly I am in decay!!! But am I being inwardly renewed?

Just read a mates blog in which he spoke about the spiritual struggles he was facing, and to be honest I really related to this.

This has been such a helpful experience and there is no doubt that there have been some great insights and challenges by Gods Spirit brought to my life, but Im feeling restless. Is this cause Im not feeling great? Or is it something deeper? Im finding myself on one of those few occasions asking why wont these Christians that I love step up to the mark? (now i know some are reading this, and its not meant as a criticism to any of them as i love them dearly, but i do get frustrated!). Even as I say this I speak into my own life the John 21 words!!

But as a leader my role is to lead, vision, motivate and far too many seem to either be weary, running from God or hiding on a sabbatical from God. Why is is that people do these things? Why?? Do I really want to chase them down? Do I really want to confront them on this? When surely they should love God enough to get of their backsides and go deeper with him?

Now friends please hear the heart behind this. Im not wanting to pull anyone down. Im trying to be open and honest about how I feel. About what God is challenging me on! It is a ME thing. It is my issue to work through, but I do need Gods guidance on this.

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28 message

So i feel compelled to do something about this. Im going to go and buy some cards and right a personnel note to everyone in the church, to remind them of our love for them and also of Gods passion and love for them. I sense that for so many we need a new breakthrough experience with Jesus and with Holy Week fast approaching my prayers are going to be centred into encouraging people to come back to the cross the place of confrontation and comfort. I include myself in that......

Day 33

2011-04-10T15:26:00.004+01:00

4 Church services to attend today, on this the day of rest, the Sabbath!!!

Why?????

Its the most beautiful day outside and to cap it all the second of these is full bib and tucker, (uniform and tie) whilst outside everyone is sat in shorts and tee shirts. You've got to laugh havent you!

This civic ceremony was to celebrate all those people who volunteer and serve others in the community. Many people gathered. I didnt relly want to be there and thats putting it mildly, but as I sat there sweating in tunic and tie, I listened to the message that was being spoken. We do not desire to be served but to serve, and many of the things you, we are doing will never be see on earth. They are however seen in heaven!!

As i heard this it was good to be reminded that as I serve I do it for others sake and for Gods glory. Sometimes when we least feel like it, it is good just to gently be reminded that Jesus did many things that he may not have wanted to do for others sake. Its a good model to follow!

Day 32

2011-04-10T15:17:00.006+01:00

Woken up feeling so rough! Seven and a half hours to travel down the M1 ready for game when it should have taken three hours! Not helpful to say the least in the weather. At least got a tan on one side through the windows. However there is always an upside I have had the laziest morning ever which is just as well, headache sore throat and aching. Probably shouldnt be doing a game. But I did lay in till 11.30 primarily because i looked out of my room from the balcony to the sight to the left here!

Day 31

2011-04-07T20:16:00.003+01:00

Well I've just spent the whole night sleeping in my office, as Esther and her closest friends had a sleepover in our youth church building. It was so sweet, 15 year old girls having fun together in such a different way to what so often is portrayed as necessary and the norm. The things you do for your children....!

I do feel a little like the picture here. But how you feel and how you respond to things is all dependent upon your state of heart and mind. I can say Im tired so im going to be cranky and irritable today or I can recognise this fact and therefore make more of an effort not to be!

But then there are always highlights no matter what we face, arent there.

This morning is right now the most amazing morning. The sky is as clear as any i have seen whilst on holiday abroad, clear blue sky breaking through the darkness and already you can see the sun starting to wake up. Green grass laden with morning dew, what a beautiful day! My eyes are now very much open as I gaze in wonder at the beautiful creation and Creator God.

If I had not been awake at 5.30am then I would have missed this! How many things do I miss that are right in front of my eyes. Maybe becuase Im not in the right state of mind, or because my eyes are not fully open. Or maybe cause im not even looking for them?

Its so easy to see today the beauty of God, but then isnt that the same every day? Maybe my eyes of more open than I thought or expected. I cant help but sing, beautiful one....my soul my soul must sing, my soul my soul MUST sing!

Day 30

2011-04-07T07:04:00.004+01:00

So Father Peter, at the AGM I attended the other day said something I have been pondering upon.....'He said we are not best set up here to take risk, whereas you are...' I think it would be fair to say by nature I am a risk taker? I would have a view, that we are assessing the risk out of faith, in the church in the west today. But risk taking can be seen as either crazy or even down right stupid!! Last evening i refereed a local game. I forgot what local level rugby is like, the changing rooms well were just about standing up, the toilets, well dont go there, and the field was rutted at though cows had been on it all week. There was i following on from Saturdays 100 point game still nursing my knee, and im doing a mid week game before another big relegation game on Saturday!! Idiocy? It gets better this game was 56-28 another fast and furious affair! Now my point, leadership has to take risks we just cant and must not play it safe. Today I said I would go for cycle ride with youth workers, only about 10 miles but it will be good to spend some down time with them. Will the knee hold out?? Tonight I look after Esthers sleep over with her girl friends, so probably no sleep there! Is this the kind of day that is wise or a bit risky given my frail body!!!? You all know what I will do!! We as leaders need to be risk takers. Faith being described as RISK. I dont think I could ever be aleader who plays it safe! But is it really a risk trusting in God??

Day 29

2011-04-06T06:17:00.007+01:00

Today is dedicated to the people who have influenced my life, who love me, and who are prepared to accept me for who I am warts an all.

There have been and are so many people who have influnced and shaped me. So many people who have spoken into my life without even realising it. So many who have seen not only the best but worst of me as well. And still they love me. I have been privileged to work with and lead so many people over the last years, and indeed soon am due to have my review of 20 years of ministry. BUT today is simply so say thank you.

Not JUST thank you, as I heard preached on Sunday but just THANKYOU!

I do not say it enough to my work collegues, or to my church or to my family. But you are all an amazing group of people. I love you all and I have an amazing position and privilege to seek to inpart something of the amazing good news of the revolutionary called Jesus into your lives. My hope is that even when i am the grumpy middle aged man that still something of the person of Jesus is seen in me, that even when I seem weighed down by the pressures of the world, that you still see something of Jesus in me. That even when i upset or cause pain, that you still know my motivation is right? So as I have already said this week I am thankful to God that He walks with me, that I am not alone and that my faith is not reliant upon me being successful, as i seem to fail so often, but is reliant upon a God who has called me, who knows everything about me, knows how often i mess up and still loves me with a deep passion that i will never fully comprehend.

So thank you Lord that you do love me and you love all who i work and meet with. An Awesome reality!

Day 28

2011-04-05T06:51:00.011+01:00

TWO FOR ONE....

I can be a bit slow on the uptake at time, and I have realised that I only used half of the text yesteday. It was good to be reminded that Jesus is with us always, but I also recognise the deep significance of the remainder of that text from Matthew, never will i leave you no forsake you.

In the often lonely place of leadership, when you are trying to walk close to Jesus and be what Jesus wants you to be, I would be the first to recognise that with the blessing of being called comes the demands and rubbish that people place on you. Its good that people can do this, although sometimes its unwarranted and even unfair, but I thought about it this way early today and think its a helpful image.

If I am walking close to Jesus I picture that we are hand in hand. Afterall a Father delights to go for a walk with His children, and theres nothing better than doing that hand in hand.

I see it like this. All the burdens and rubbish that I carry as a leader are in my other hand in a shopping bag, (probably morrisons as I always seem to be carrying one!) Now when everything gets to much to carry there is a temptation to take my hand out of Jesus hand and spread the load into two carrier bags, one in each hand! When suddenly i realised, no Andrew!!! You see if i am using this metaphor I do not need to let go of the hand of Christ, I simply give him much of the stuff I am carrying and He carries it in his spare hand. He shares the burden of carrying with me!!! We then are equally yoked! Why do i remove my hand from His when its tough why dont i let Him carry it and i continue to hold His hand and stay close.

I dont know what you think of this, but it suddenly makes sense to me............ that r is 2 for 1!

Day 27

2011-04-04T08:51:00.006+01:00

Can walking with Jesus be lonely? I am thinking that whilst I can walk, or sit on my own in the presence of Jesus, it doesnt and cant be, can it, the same as actually walking that Emmaus road with Jesus?? There are times also when you are in a lonely place as a leader, because you carry stuff that only you and Jesus can deal with. This can mean you can stand in the crowd but feel all alone. You are there but not there.

Im all alone this morning, no one in the office you can hear the peace and quiet, but i know that it wont be long before that same peace is robbed by the noise and hussle and bussle of youth workers, who dont really want to work today but will want to just have fun! (not that that is a bad thing sometimes. Sometimes!)

But we are never alone, Jesus promised to be with us always and so the question I am reflecting upon is should I not be able to feel His presence with me every moment of the day?

Now I know He is with me, and I know the footprints in the sand stuff, but am i consciously aware of Jesus in my day to day living as much as I could or should be? If not? Why is this? In the hymn of St Patrick we are told to practise the presence of God. In my everyday living to be aware, to think about and to live as though Jesus is by my side.

So this morning has been a lovely quiet time with Jesus in a place where there is always and soon will be lots of noise. Lo I am with you always, in everything........Thank you Lord. But I am also mindful that there are many lonely people today who are not aware that they have jesus close to them and get lost in the crowds of society. They are like sheep without a shepherd.

A song has popped into my head is anyone thirsty.....I instantly changed this to is anyone lonely....let them come to me..... We need to make sure that the lonely, the marginalised, the excluded and ignored of society are made to feel accepted at the heart of the Christian faith. Even though they do not realise it Jesus is walking with them also today.

Day 26

2011-04-03T14:27:00.003+01:00

There can be fewer highlights as a minister, in my opinion than when someone you have mentored and influenced flourishes before your eyes into a mature leader themselves. The guy who i listened to in mid week, who inspired me, said this world at every level is missing leaders. I totally agree. This is very true in the Chuch today, when it seems that so much of our training and experience is solely based upon managing and creating managers! Indeed it is my belief that I am on earth to inspire and develop spiritual leaders and that the church needs to once more reliase we are not on earth to manage but to lead and inspire. These are very different! The manager is all about maintaining what we have the leader sets a direction and does everything to get there. Therefore to sit under the ministry of one of my young leaders this morning was indeed special. The way she spoke, interacted with the congregation, related the message to her own life and used good illustrations to highlight her point were excellent. As I sat scribbling notes i thought this is indeed what Im about and here in front of my own eyes was a thriving Christian leader! Im reflecting its a bit like the disciples walking with Jesus in whom he left the ministy and message of the church, now we are charged to walk with people oursleves. In similar fashion walk with me and look at my life and how i live, then go an do likewise. Now that is a challenge!!

Day 25

2011-04-02T19:52:00.002+01:00

Have you ever walked this way before? Sometimes in life we find ourseleves going back over the ground where we have trodden before, only to find that we see and expeirence very different things.

6 weeks ago I refereed at at Sedgley Park in Manchester and the field was like a river bed, players and referee needed snorkels! Today on the same pitch, we ran through sand which had been laid to dry up the water! I had to laugh the sun was baking down, the sand was golden, the sky was blue and there was I in the middle complete with knee throbbing and sweat pouring of my brow from the baking sun. The other difference was last time the game and score was a pedestrian, 9-6, this time far from pedestrian 30-65!!! Man i had to run everywhere.

I was thinking on the way home, how different things can be each day even when we think we have been there before! I wonder as I am walking with Jesus, if he takes me back to places and situations so that i can experience new things and maybe see things i missed the first time? There is a danger isnt there that we can miss out because we think what lies in front of us? Maybe I should open my eyes more to see what Christ has laid in front of me.

Day 24

2011-04-01T07:14:00.004+01:00

Dreaming some know how some not sure.....Im definitely a dreamer. I get excited when I see things, visions, that are possible with God.

The key test to such dreams and visions for me is are they birthed in the presence and will of God? If they are then really we ae simply joining in with His intention on earth.

I am excited by the potential of what is possible with God, and as I consider and dream of the next stage of the realisation of the dream in this community I was reminded of this picture that I use when talking about church planting. Its a geat picture and represents in my view how mission and ministry works. The small tender dreams when held in Gods hands are nurtured and cared for by Him. From such small things grow oaks or righteousness.

Who would have believed 18 years ago what God would build here? The reality is thou we have not fully realised what God has in store yet. There is more being revealed and realised. What an awesome privilege to be held by God and to see God at work.

So when people start putting obstacles in the way, or maybe even trying to rob me of the dreams and visions i'll hold onto this picture that God has it all in His hands!

Day 23

2011-03-31T06:43:00.002+01:00

Exactly half way through lent today........Im reflecting on an amazing evening at the launch of the Education Trust for Wetherby last evening. Simply inspirational! All of the speakers were brilliant but in paticular Marcus Orlofsky, who is a famous entrepreneur from the world of education. He shared how he had become successful and a world leader from the most humble and quite horrific of childhoods. He said too many of us are living our lives based on our history rather than living for our destiny! Do you want to be a person who fulfills his destiny? Well this sits so much with what i have been saying and thinking this year. We need to fulfil the destiny that God has for us. We do this by dreaming with him what is possible. I have a dream that this community will acknowledge that Christ at its centre. Where people have their needs met, where children are allowed to be children and are safe. I have a dream that the SA sits at the heart of this newly established trust because this is what we should be doing. Thinking differently and seeking out our detiny not living on our history. Today I need to take this further. Im going to once more share my dream and belief to the SA. Im going to encourage them to exercise faith in a way that they have not done so before. I believe we shoud be trust partners and offer to the school and the young people the opportunity to experience social and community action projects, to link with other countries and see the need around us. I have believed for many years, I have seen what is possible. Now is the time for us to seek out our destiny. Join with me please in praying that the doors will be opened and that this becomes a reality. Your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven......

Day 22

2011-03-30T06:57:00.001+01:00

When we have exhausted our store of endurance, Our Fathers full giving has only begun! Noy by my might but by MY SPIRIT so says the LORD..................

Day 21

2011-03-29T06:45:00.002+01:00

Yesterday I declared I will seek to be gracious, as I faced the challenges brought to me by people. To achieve this goal I said that Christians have to be obsessed, in the right sense of the word, but maybe I wasnt enough!! Not sure those around me would say I was very gracious yesterday. I hate to admit it but I was so tired from the exploits of the weekend, motivating and passionately giving my all to the youth all day on Sunday had taken its toll, coupled with a lack of sleep! Man I was cranky....... Now when Jesus said come to me all you who are weary and I will give you rest he was meaning for exactly the kind of reason as yesterday. I should have kept coming to Him, who would have given me peace in my heart and helped me then in turn to be gracious. Why? Because I would have been dwelling in His presence. Without harping back to much, you see it is that John 21 thing. Eyes on Jesus equals success eyes off and onto others equals failure. But then here goes the amazing grace of Jesus! He continues to love and enfold us even when we fail. In fact he knows and understands us and still loves us. He is like no other person. He does not store up failure records, he stores up more and more grace and love. So today when we experience failure, or when others let us down let me try and respond in that same fashion. For who are we to condemn and criticise, Im, going to love as Christ loves.

Day 20

2011-03-28T07:05:00.002+01:00

Half way there or is it? NO. Apparently there are 46 days from Ash Wed to Easter Sunday but thats ok, Im learning so much about myself and about life that Im happy for this to be longer. Im thinking challenges, life is full of them. But how we respond to them is the key. Im also thinking people throw challenges at us each day. Im also linking this to the John 21: 22 text 'what is that to you'. Some days you feel like responding to the challenges people throw my way in my human nature but I must always seek Jesus first in how I respond. (not always a strength of mine). So this leads me back to one of my favourite challenges, that of grace. Grace is an amazing demonstration of Gods love, grace is I believe the way we turn things around, but grace is not an easy option. It takes much more grace to love some people whilst others it is so easy. But I am thinking that God is putting in front of me increasingly people who need to be shown grace but really 'challenge', my 'grace levels!' So how can I be what God wants me to be?? It is only surely by living out that John 21 walk with Jesus. I have no chance of showing grace and love unless my eyes are upon The Lord. The only way I can ever be the gracfeul person is to be so 'obsessed' with Jesus and His expectations of me that my eyes are fixated on Him. So I know that today is going to be one of those days of challenge. So looking unto Jesus I will be gracious today. Lord help me.

Day 19

2011-03-27T20:09:00.002+01:00

Today has been such a long day but also such an amazing one! I was so pivileged to lead and be the speaker at the Yorkshire youth councils (13-25) about 150 or so youngsters gathered. High energy, high passion, inspirational. So much potential, no much of their future ahead of them, and upon such as them was this movement founded. I sought to encourage them to follow not Church but Jesus, to fix their eyes on Him.. The only way to live as a Christian. In the afternoon I made a mud pool and spoke about how the world and its standards can hang upon us, and how it can be so difficult to shake it of when we live in that world. All in all Ive come home exhausted, but greatly encouraged by these young lives who are seeking to live for Jesus. A privilege it was, but then isnt that was ministry is anyway a privilege!!

Day 18

2011-03-27T20:03:00.003+01:00

Great game of rugby today, brilliant in fact. Its hard to imagine a better to way to spend a Saturday afternoon. The thing that challenged me most today was sat having my sandwich on the way to the game. I went upto the coffee stall, without realising, and came so close to buying a coffee without even realising. I stood at the counter and then literally smelt the coffee! Thankfully i realised what I was doing. I sat ate my sandwich and laughed to myself, habits are hard to break!! Thankfully I did stay firm, but only just.

Day 17

2011-03-25T06:54:00.003Z

Slept so well again, maybe coffee isnt good for you?? Or maybe not so much in a day??

Manic day ahead, preparing for a big Sunday where I am the guest speaker to about 150 14-25 year olds, Yorkshire Youth councils. Suddenly feeling not only nervous but old! Trying to formalise my notes which is a challenge in itself as i dont often use them but need to for a variety of reasons with this occasion. Much of my thoughts will and have been on this come follow me theme and I am wanting the young people to realise that Jesus is the example and the power than they need to follow and experience.

I am trying to work through however if this is really true in todays world. Please dont accuse me of heresy or of lacking faith. BUT is is really possible to live this close to Jesus today so that in everything we experience His will and power? I do believe it is but im not sure I am living in this reality? My sinfulness, my thoughts, my mouth indicate to me that Im not as close to the 'power source' as I could be? I dont think i am being hard on myself, just honest. But i really would like to see all the miracles we spoke of yesterday happening with my own eyes. I do believe this lenten experience is causing me to get closer to Jesus but Im still not close enough.
Knowing me, will I ever be in this place or will my character and personality mean that I will always seek for more?

Seek and you will find!!

Day 16

2011-03-24T06:55:00.002Z

It has dawned on me, even with the beautiful sunny early mornings that I seem to be sleeping deeply at present! In fact I feel like i am wanting to sleep in the middle of the afternoon! Is this the realisation of my age? I was speaking to someone yesterday who said I have to acknowedge Im not as young as i was and that my body isnt as able as it was! Is this happening to me...? Or is it the lack of coffee!!

Or is it to do with the crazy hours i work?? Am I so busy that I miss out on the opportunity to 'BE!'

This atttractive life changing faith, in the person of Jesus living in me, is not being evidenced enough by others around me! Or is it?? As I reflect through lent on how I am living I really do want people to be intrigued and attracted to Jesus through my life. As I have reread through the notes so far I am mindful that the key theme thus far has clearly been following Jesus example and making sure that I live as he does. So I need to spend more time deliberately being with him so that my faith can become radically alive. Im not saying its not alive but is it 'oouzing' with life. When did I last see a person be healed or rise from the dead??

Today Im going to ask the Holy Spirit to amaze me through some unexpected thing, to show someone that Jesus is awesome! Thats what i long for deep down.

Day 15

2011-03-23T07:03:00.004Z

Ive woken up in thinking mode. This is something that happens often. I lie in bed having woken early, and my mind clicks into gear. Although not sure i was thinking that much as I decided to cycle to work, even with my injured knee!!! Think Andrew!

Dynamic faith. Following Christs example and looking like him, thats what its all about, this Christianity??

The bible says he had no beauty or majesty (Isaiah 53:1-3), it also says that we should be like him in our attitude and mind (Philippian 2:1-11). I struggle to believe that he was not deeply attractive, because he just walked into streets, market places, peoples homes and from what we read and from what i understand people flocked around him. Clearly Jesus was deeply attractive!

He had charisma, he was full of the Holy Spirit, people were not only drawn to
Him but stood in awe of Him. BUT not because He was an egotist, and extrovert but because He was so humble. His confidence came through the power of His relationship with his father.

The more i think about how Jesus lived, the more i think about what that means for all His disciples, I cannot get out of my head, this question jumps back in, well if everyone was attracted to Him and then followed Him, why is it that people do not respond in the same way in my community and even nationally? Are we missing something of the experience of the gospel? Are we experiencing the gospel in all its fullness? Are we needing to seek after and experience more of the depth of the Holy Spirit and then let this experience pour out of us? Questions questions today?? Lots of them.....

Day 14

2011-03-22T07:13:00.003Z

Today im going to talk to my building class of teenage boys about the challenge of Christian faith and following Jesus. My prayer is that we will have at least one deep and meaningful conversation. Im posting this at the start of the day in faith and will return to it at the end of the day. I am wanting now 2 weeks in to push the challenge of my faith deeper. Today seems a good way to try and do this!

Sir so do you believe in God? Do you Stan? What a great question and opportunity to talk about why we believe. I used to go to church but got fed up with it when I was younger. I then talked about how can you get bored with Jesus, and talked about what it would have been like to be around him. The dead come back to life, the blind can see, the lame can walk etc.

Christian faith is exciting and dynamic, not boring and onerous. What have we made it into? Do I comunicate through my life that same dynamic lifestyle? Do people get excited about Christ when they look at me? What a challenge

day 13

2011-03-21T16:41:00.003Z

And the 7th day shalt thou rest...........?

Well apparently to those in the know, you are supposed to take the Sundays off during lent from your 'self denial'? You take, I am told the 6 Sundays in lent off which then gives you the 40 days concept. I heard this yesterday and have been thinking about it. I dont get it!

Im told that the idea is that you break on the sabbath so that you do not become proud of your achievements in fasting?? Well I just cant go with this idea. I am either all in, dedicated to doing what has been asked of me or im not, there are no ways out, no easy options! This links to my thoughts early on about the need for sacrifice for complete devotion to the task of following Jesus. I dont want it to be comfortable, with ways out. This is im convinced yet another way of trying to 'water down' what is expected in the Christian faith walk today. I am probably wrong and it probably totally historical what was said abotu 6 days off but I do not want a day of from following Jesus. Well that how I see it......

O yes by the way headaches are lessoning but all this water drinking means i seem to be visiting our bathroom much more than ever.......

Day 12

2011-03-20T14:55:00.002Z

Privileged to follow............no matter what?

Well i cant quite believe this. I have just been on the national rugby forum and someone has linked my blog to it on the basis of my refereeing performance yesteday. The followers are now not only talking about rugby but also my blog!!!

Ill restate then my point from the other day that people will judge Jesus through our lives! I wonder what they saw on the rugby field yesterday?

Day 11

2011-03-20T14:43:00.002Z

What am i learning through this experience?

Let me share with you today what I experienced, which yet again links to this theme that keeps recurring, that being come follow me. I have already shared that when Jesus called his first disciples, i don't believe he called them to a way but to indeed follow Him. What Jesus was saying I believe was look at my life, watch what i do, watch what i say, watch how i respond and do likewise. Come follow ME! That calling must have been amazing........dead people rising, blind people seeing, the lame walking, the demons fleeing! Come follow me. And it even says you will do greater things than I have done!

So taking that all into account today I was blessed to experience what that means in a deeper way through creation. I was staying in a hotel, prior to my rugby game. My room looked out with a balcony onto a lake. I woke early to see the sunrise, amazing across the lake, so I sat on my balcony and saw 'creation wake up'. O lord my God when I in awesome wonder consider.....I was blown away and then as I travelled home from rugby as the sun set there was in the sky the 'super moon'. These were two magnificent examples of the majesty of creation.

God of creation, lived in the person of Jesus and it is this same God, the God of the sun and moon whom we are called by our names to follow. PRIVILEGE!!

Day 10

2011-03-18T16:15:00.002Z

Glorious day the sun is streaming down what an amazing creation.......its a day for going on a walk. Walking with Jesus on the Emmaus walk would have been awesome. I will have to contend myself with a drive down the M1 with Jesus!!!

The good news today is NO HEADACHE!! And not even missed coffee today..................

Day 9

2011-03-17T10:11:00.005Z

Identity. I bear the name of Jesus! Therefore i am a christian!!

I bear the name of Jesus and as such i am therefore

I am expected to look like Jesus and
people judge Jesus by what they see in me!

I just heard it said in regard to the church, it is like a teenager. A persons first name is their personal identity, who they are as an individual and their surname is there family name, the name that associates them with other members of their family. (George Lings is a brilliant thinker and communicator) Therefore if i apply this thought to the church, the church local needs to embody its local identity whilst retaining its global identity, its wider family characteristics. A great explanation of identity.

Jesus has called me to bear his name but allows me to be myself as well. I need to celebrate therefore the uniqueness and specialness of my life whilst maintaining Christs characteristics. this is taking me further in regard to what it means to follow....

Day 8

2011-03-16T19:00:00.003Z

My head is banging today not from the lack of coffee (although that is still a bit of an issue) but from being stretched and made to think!

I am at a planting summit with about 30 national leaders from across the Christian traditions who are all committed or responsible for church planting within their denominations. It is humbling to be in such exalted company. From Pentecostals to high church all have been inspiring one another. These are amazing people, with some great stories of peoples lives being transformed. The one biggest thing that has stood out to me is simple really. If we want people and communities to have their lives transformed, then we need, as I said yesterday to follow the lead of Jesus and live like Jesus. But is this really a realistic goal in our society? Yes of course it is and the stories that I have heard, including the ones that i have recounted are all about the person of Jesus who calls and transforms what once seemed dark, lost and hopeless.

Esther says I have been called for such a time as this, I am reminded that as a planter with the SA that this is true. I need and have to do my level best to make a way for others to follow and find Jesus. This is not just a local thing for me but has to be the national mandate that I have been privileged to be given. Lord this experience is calling me closer to yourself, thank you Lord!

Day 7

2011-03-15T19:37:00.006Z

Well why is it that when you are trying to do something everything around you reminds you of that same thing. Been away for 24 hours on retreat...and we had so many coffee breaks, but everyone was complaining the coffee was so strong they could not bare it. Basically just as i like it!!! People kept saying this at every break, and wanted to know why I wasnt drinking it! This in itself has been a massive challenge i so wanted to be strong and resist but to be honest the headaches havent been going away and coffee I am sure would have resolved this!! But resist I did!

Anyway the highlight of these last hours has been the command yet again come follow me.....this text has been all around me in recent days. Interestingly the speaker added to this though, that we are to follow HIM, to look at Christ in everything we do, to be obedient to His leading. We are not called to follow some king of rules and regulations, some kind of spiritual laws and rituals we are called to DO AS JESUS DID.

This has inspired me today. I heard and it landed afresh upon my life. What was great as well about this was that Jesus in every situation had the last word! When you look at every struggle and miracle that faced and involved Jesus, He had the last word. There is power in the name of Jesus.

So I am claiming afresh today that name of Jesus, I will follow His lead and allow in everything I face HIM to have the last word.

Day 6

2011-03-14T06:50:00.000Z

What a beautiful morning, I woke very early to see the clear blue sky, sun rising and frost on the ground. We serve an Almighty Creator God.

Today is the first day when my head is not pounding away, well not yet. Fluid already downed and quiet time taken.

Two texts have flow into my mind this morning, come follow me and the john 21 don't worry about him you follow me. Keeping my eyes on Jesus needs to be my primary function especially in the next few days ahead. I am on my way to whats called officers councils for Yorkshire. This is a kind of retreat and bringing together of all the SA ministers across Yorkshire. I have not been for a number of years. Why? Because 1) i have not found them very inspiring in the past, 2) people seem to struggle with me and like to express that to me, 3) i don't really see the point!

Now given that in all things my response and actions need to be as if I am walking close to the Lord, and I'm not quite as patient and gracious at present as i should be, I need to make sure that I am listening and communing with Jesus in the hours ahead. If I keep my eyes on Jesus then everything else falls into place as He intends it. Theres a song that sits with this, Turn your eyes upon Jesus and the things of earth will grow strangely dim.....in the light of his glory and face..

If I am to be credible as a minister I have to do as i preach. I so often say these words from john 21 what is that to you, you follow me...... The problem with people is not them it is me. I need in all things to be so 'obsessed' with my relationship with Jesus that everything and everyone is simply a blessing. Lord help me this day not to look to the left or the right....

Day 5

2011-03-13T14:07:00.000Z

Right new strategy today! Woke up extra early drank 2 litres of water and prayed the headache would go!! Now im not sure if it was this startegy or whether it was the inspiration of being with Gods people in worship. It was an amazing morning with two people testifying to the transformation that God has worked in their lives. People were led and inspired in worship by the band and we reflected on the last 18 years of the church's life and looked forward to the future.

I felt led to lay myself bare before the church and talk about this experience and the challenge that God the Holy Spirit has issued to my heart. It felt good to share with people the wrestles of choosing to follow, My Jesus wherever He might lead! My body is physically struggling but this is doing me spiritually and emotionally good.

The Word says Choose this day whom you will serve.......I want to be the person God wants me to be. This feels like its helping me to do so? However just sat and ate my muffin not the same without a Flat White thou!!

Day 4

2011-03-12T11:55:00.000Z

No rugby, no coffee today. This is not a normal Saturday for me in anyway! So this is a day to chill, rest and recuperate from the horrid migraine experienced yesterday. Work was crazy. 15 hour non stop day, no wonder i was ill ! So I have just re-read the text from yesterday as the message version puts it and realised that two of the things which make up my normal Saturday are not present, so I have been given and even better option. Having almost finished prep, im going to relax, have lunch with the girls, (Esther and Andrea) and then crash......I wonder will I manage to sit still and be quiet. I'll add to this at the end of the day and see if I managed......or should i say if the girls managed with their normal Saturday disturbed.

Lent 2011

2011-03-09T12:06:00.000Z

Those who know me well, will not be surprised that i am a thinker? My mind wurrs around so often at 100 miles an hour. I learn through asking questions and thinking about the responses.

So this year I want to have my faith challenged. Facebook, chocolate, fizzy drinks, sweets, scrabble......all things which maybe I could have chosen to give up to help focus my mind and prepare for the significant event which is Easter. But is Lent just about chocolate!

I have gone through this whole process, and even thought what is the point? The thing that kept coming back to me was coffee! No more than chocolate or any of the above things i hear you say, well thats not true exactly.

You see......I am a coffee snob, unashamedly. I love good coffee, ideally Columbian or Italian to be exact. Our work office and site has numerous coffee machines and there is always the smell of coffee wafting through the rooms..... But here is the point. I need coffee!! And this is why I really believe I have to challenge myself to fast from it through the next 40 days.

I should not need and desire anything, if I am serious about faith?? There is a danger that we can become enslaved by substances, habits, beliefs that are no different, worse or better than things which we The Church and Christians so often pass judgment on.

What I need is a deeper more powerful more intimate relationship with Jesus......And before people say whats the problem with my faith and ministry.......I am not saying there is a crisis or anything of the sort I am simply visiting something in my life which may or may not be getting in the way of how I live out my Christian journey.

For Coffee's sake is actually for Gods sake and my good.

Day 1

First challenge experienced. Do I tell people or keep it personal? If I keep this to myself then if I fail it wont matter, will it?? However I will know. I was saddened when I saw that a friend had failed in their lent journey in the first few hours, or so they said on facebook. I might fail but im going to try. If I tell people, especially those I work with then they will see and hold me to account!! They might even be surprised? They know how much I love my coffee......

The whole purpose is, remember Andrew, not to give up coffee but to go on a spiritual journey. So at staff prayers this morning I told them what I was planning to do. But I not only told them I asked them for help. You see as we journey in faith its not only God who helps us but our christian friends too. But to seek help you need to seek to live a transparent life. This already is hard work, living a disciplined life...or it is for someone like me.

Man I need a coffee!

Mother of all headaches..... at the end of the day. This has made me think, and re-emphasised the scripture i received this morning 'deny thyself.....' does it really cost to deny ourselves? I clearly am missing my 'fix'!! I'm glad in a way that I am already experiencing something of the pain of giving up. Of course this headache is nothing compared to the amazing gift of God, the sacrifice of Jesus. BUT we have made this Christianity stuff to comfortable in the UK. We moan all to quickly when it gets a bit tough and with it comes the temptation to do our own thing and to count the cost. I am going to do this.....God work a new thing of grace in my life I pray in this experience

Day 2

My dear friend and inspiration, Lyndall emailed me last evening with these words which have helped me already today crystalise my thinking about why I am fasting and blogging. 'Prayer changes things, prayer changes our world. How will you pray this lent? Matthew 4:19 says Come follow me'.

When I said yesterday that I need coffee, that was true. But I really need to pray far more than I do. I need to be living in the presence of Jesus. I need as I have said before to be living with the dust from the rabbis feet upon my own feet. I need and desire to be closer to Jesus. The closer I am to Him the more unlike Him I realise I am. The more I realise that I need more of his energy love and power to drive me forward as a christian who really does desire to make a difference in this world today and who is not prepared to settle for meaningless empty 'nice christianity'.

Yesterday I really missed my cuppa, or three, or four. but every time I felt like this is focused my attention on Christ. If you like it was a trigger to pray. And so I prayed. The words which Lyndall tagged from Matthew 4:19 ironically are the words I have been focusing on in preparation for a big youth event I am speaking at, at the end of the month. These are clearly words I need to hear? Unlike Lyndall and others dear to me prayer is not the easiest thing for me but yesterday in the midst of the banging head it became a little easier. Take up thy cross and follow.......

Day 3

I have been challenged by people as to why I am doing this, especially today. Its been the subject of serious and also funny conversations. No doubting today, that it is hurting! My reasonig is simply as I explained to one person. It is to use this time to focus my thinking and attention more onto Jesus. Everytime i want a drink I am being reminded to pray. (Today I have prayed lots!!)

Everywhere I have gone people are drinking coffee......the smell in the bunker kitchen as the house group met was just unfair, ha! However the one key thing i have gleaned today is this, that sacrifice is worth it, but it should cost us. I am thinking we have made sacrifice to easy and maybe we have not allowed it to be costly enough?? In fact have we removed sacrifice from Christianity when it comes to applying it to our own lifes? Have we really any idea in the west what it means to deny ourselves and follow, or have we made our christian faith into a nice little confortable religious package?

Do I want confortable christianity without the sacrifice? Matthew 11:28-30. 'Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.